Monday, September 10, 2012

Dexter the Wonder Dog - On the Topic of Slobber




Sometimes I wonder if the relentless slobbers which flow freely and continuously from the sloppy jowls of Mango have turned our estate into a toxic wasteland.

Yours truly often goes most of the day with nary a sip of water due to my aversion to consuming said slobbers even in trace amounts.





Once a stuffie has spent any amount of time with jaws of doom....






Even repeated journeys through the washing machine cannot restore it to its original luster.




Momma is quite cavalier regarding the splatters of miasmic goo that are constantly dropped onto my labrafurs. One endeavors to maintain a brave facade.


Please, momma, can you remove that vile blob from my labrabottom?



But surly she could show mercy and relieve me of my burdens before they burn through my precious labraskull causing who knows what sorts of rot that will no doubt eventually consume my grey matter and render it as mushy as that of the simple minded creature himself.



Get it off me! I'm begging you.

Dexter done!

42 comments:

garthriley said...

Poor poor Dexter. I shudder to think of the amount of slobber produced by the RH.

Gus said...

Poor Pea...would you trade the RH for a Teka Toy?

ahah
I thought not.

gussie

Moose said...

Poor peewee... Wrongly relegated to role of slobber rag! I admit that happens to some foster pals, though not as much slobbers!

Niamh said...

Dexter,
You should consider yourself lucky that you live with such an expert slobber producer such as the Mango! Not everyone, even Ambrose, can be so artistic with their slobber placement.

Your friend,
Niamh

Reilly / Denny Cowspotdogs said...

eeeerrrrrkkkkk - at the dweebs at my estate don't slobber! Maybe a bib for the mango would work?

Priscilla said...

Ewwwwww!! Poor Pea, may be you should get your big brother a bib!

Casey said...

A little slobber never hurt anyone... but Mango slobber is anything but little! Get it off!

Sam said...

Poor Dexter... Maybe your Mom can get you a hazmat suit?

Sam

Wild Dingo said...

better you than me, dex!

SissySees said...

I feel your ... stickiness, Dexter. Sissy also drools like a river sometimes, and sadly, my head is just at her jowls.

Jake of Florida said...

Ah, we two do not slobber. Not a drop. Occasionally, after a drink of water we will shake our wet furry faces and a drop of water will land on whomever or whatever we are near -- but no slobber.

However, we do not think you would trade the RH for a JH, or even the two of us, right?

Wirey woofs,

Jake and Just Harry

Amber DaWeenie said...

Oh Dear! Dex, come live wit me. No drool here...Just lots of farts!

Jen said...

Holy smokes, look at all that slobber!

Slobber quotient is definitely something that went into our dog breed considerations. Slobber and shedding.

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Oy. Ditto what Jen said - we selected dogs on shedding and slobber quotients (zero being the optimal score for both); hence the 'doodle dogs. :-) Dex, you are a brave soul!

-Dr. Liz, et al.

Kitty+Coco said...

OOoh Dex, I can totally see your look of consternation. YUCK!

Kitty+Coco

houndstooth said...

Ugh! I feel your pain! Shepherd spit isn't any better! Stay strong, Dex. You need one of those little waterfall fountain bowls to filter out all that drool!

Bunny

Sue said...

Yuck! We discovered that Sebastian drools when he gets nervous and he wipes his face on us! Mom tries to catch it first, because it sure is a sticky mess.
Morgan, Sebastian and the Porties

Sankissjuice said...

Hehe, how do you get slobbers all over those places? It's so funny.

Sankissjuice

Blueberry's human said...

Oh

My

Goodness!!!!

Perhaps your human could invest in a raincoat for you to protect your fur from those unspeakable horrors!

I think the drool hanging off the water bowl was probably the most gasp-worthy. My tummy did a little flip of revulsion. Good thing Mango is so darn cute, eh? ;)

The Boston Lady said...

Oh Dexter, I can so relate to this as my granddog, Stan the greyhound was here for the weekend and I guess I never realized how much slobber he puts out until he was putting it out around my furniture and floors. He missed the Bostons though! Ann TBL

scotsmad said...

Maybe you could get him a feedbag like horses use......

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Oh Dexter, I share your pain. It's the humiliation I hate the most. Mum and Dad and the kids even laugh at me when there is a particularly horrible slobber on my sweet self. Can you believe it?
Your partner in pain and slobber, Stella

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

I think you need some of those WET WIPES!!!

Au and Target said...

Dex, we can't imagine how you suffer. Have you thought of slobbering all over Mango? You can stage a slobber fest maybe. If you call it Art, you can charge entry fees. ooooh, and cover mummy in slobber too! Then it's Interspecies Art!

Lorenza said...

Dexter!
Looks like your life is not easy!
I wish I could do something to help you!
Take care
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

jen said...

Slobber happens Dexter, we all know that! It's a sign of love!

Ruby said...

Oh noes! Poor, poor Dexter! The horrors! BOL
I, too, must confess to a drool problem....it can get quite extreme. Ma says I'm an Mastiff in an Airedale body. Thou, lookin' at you, I'm startin' to think that is quite the exaggeration!
My sympathies peewee.

Kisses,

Ruby

Two French Bulldogs said...

We kinda like the gray tone to your stuffie
Benny & Lily

BODIE said...

Dexter, you're probably just gonna have to put on your water wings and "suck it up". some things will never change

IRIS E DONA said...

Poor boy, Dexter ! What a hard life you have !

Kisses
Iris

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie said...

Eeuw, that really doesn't look at all pleasant. Could you move a bit quicker to dodge the slime?

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

The Army of Four said...

Dex! You know that's how Mango shows his love for you - right? I"m sure of it!
Play bows,
Zim

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Oh the injustice Dexter! What you must endure!! Your labrabottom is so cute even covered in Mango goo!

Koobuss said...

EEEWWW.....

Oh, Dexter! That's got to be an awful thing to live with. Poor you.


Love and Lots of Gooless Koobuss Kisses,
Koobie

the booker man said...

dexter,

i'm thinkin' maybe a bubble suit would help?

*woof*
the booker man

meatball said...

dexter,

mango slobber has the right vitamins, minerals and enzymes that make your immune system stronger...

meatball

Wyatt said...

Dexter,

That is sorta gross. Could you tie some kinda bucket around his mouth? Just a thought...

Wyatt

chicamom85 said...

Dexter is there perhaps some kind of body armor cream you could slather on so the slobber can't penetrate?I do sympathasize that is geeeeeross! I can only hope there is some therapeutic value to the slobber.

Loveys Sasha

ocmist said...

Dott: EEEWWWWW
Mercy: EEeeewwwwww... Gross!!
BG: Hey, Dex, you need to go and roll that stuff off of you!
Gimli: COOOOOOoollll! Mr. Mango drool! I want some!
Pippin: Ummmm... Dexter, you need to learn to dodge that stuff!

Hi, guys, from the Country Corgis

Roo said...

Oh dear. I feel for ya Dexter. Never been covered in slobber myself butt I can imagine it doesn't feel real nice. BOL! Good thing you can jump in a pool now and then to cleanse yourself ;)

Waggin at ya,
Roo

Reuben said...

Dexter, clearly you is a dog of many intelligences and knowledges. It is very sad that a dog like you must succumb to salivals. I is thinking of you at this difficult time.

Love,
Reuben

A Wonderful Dogs Life said...

hahahahahaha!!!! and my sisters think it's gross to be standing under me when I drink. I bet standing under Mango while drinking would really drench your labrafurs.

I'm not sure I will ever be able to get that disturbing image of the long dangling slobber out of my brain. How does one get such sturdy consistency?

Emma