Sunday, September 2, 2012

I Put My Paw Down





Momma: Mango, is it OK if I borrow your blog today to write a book review?

Me: That depends, what book is it?

Momma: It is called His Family by Ernest Poole.



Me: Never heard of it. Are there doggies in it?

Momma: Oh yes, see? Right here on page 284 "The herd passed on and George followed behind, his collie dog leaping and barking beside him."

Me: And?

Momma: And what?

Me: And like, duh, what else? Was it a boy dog or a girl dog? What was the doggie's name? What did it eat for supper? Did the doggie know any cool tricks?

Momma: Well, um, that is the only doggie part of the book.

Me: Seriously? You want me to let you use MY blog to write about a dumb old book that has the word "collie" in it? Are you for real?

Momma: Oh Mango, it did win the Pulitzer prize and it is a wonderful story about how life has a way of sneaking up on you and the best laid plans can go awry and I think that dog mommas out there who are, you know, middle aged, would relate to it and...

Me: Hold it right there. I don't give a flying fig about going to a rye in the middle ages and I don't care if it won the Olympic Gold medal. If there aren't any doggies in it, then no dice. Go write your own blog. You can call it "Mango Momma's Stupid Book Review Blog About Books That Nobody Cares About Because THEY DON'T HAVE DOGGIES IN THEM!"

Momma: No need to shout. Maybe you're right. I could write my own blog, but I don't think I would use "Mango Momma" in the title.

Me: Why not? It's your name, isn't it?

Momma: Yes, but people who google "Mango Momma" are likely looking for something like this...






Me: WTF is THAT? You are making soaps from your jelly in your belly? Maybe if you increased production you wouldn't need to keep buying bigger pants. 

Momma: Um, perhaps... but, you know, I'm not sure that anybody would read a non-doggie book review blog.

Me: And thus the penny drops.

Momma: Sigh, maybe you're right. After all, this is YOUR blog - and PeeWee's too of course.

Me: Word that, lady. Go busy yourself whilst I enjoy a REAL book.



Now THIS is great literature!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

45 comments:

Bouncing Bertie said...

Hey Mango, it's good to see that at least someone in your household has fine taste in books....
Toodle pip!
Bertie.
PS It could be worse - I do believe that Gail is currently reading a book that features absolutely no dogs whatsoever.

Roo said...

Belly Butter? BOL! Does it smell like Mango? ;)
Must be a trend. Dog Mom's reading books with little to no doggies in them. My Mom's reading one like that now. She says it's not one to recommend. Just a good read to fall asleep to :)
So Mango, when you get done with the gaseous read, how bout 'passin' it along ;D

Waggin at ya,
Roo

Sam said...

Well, Sam enjoys reading Shakespeare, but Monty too is more of a "Walter" kind of dog!

Sam

bbes tribe said...

BOL!!! Funny funny post. Loved it. A smile and chuckle and tailwags to start the day! Doesn't get much better. I think M got a little bit of her book "report" in here. heehee
Wags
Ernie

Wyatt said...

Good read, Mango! It's all about the dog.

harrispen said...

You cracked me up this morning...well you do almost every time I read your blog. Nice job on picking a good book Mango. Did you learn anything from Walter?

Cindy

monica said...

Hahaha!! You guys are hilarious, and the best!!

The Teacher's Pets said...

I agree with you, Mango, that books aren't worth reading if a dog isn't the main character! My mom reads a lot of classics (that's what she calls 'em but I call 'em a "waste of time") that keep her busy for hours and I just don't understand it!
Your mom needs to start a blog of her own and the title you suggested if pawfect!
XOXO-Daisy

rottrover said...

Our mom listened to a book on CD in her car called A Big Little Life by Dean Koontz. It's all about a doggie and how she changed the life of her humans. We LOVE that book, and mom must like it, too, cuz she's listened to it like a zillion times. Sheesh.

-Bart and Ruby - the farting dog...

Wild Dingo said...

Mango Man, this is one of your best ever. i'm mean how daft does the DOH have to be to even ask if she could borrow your DOG blog? duh. Mango Man, I seriously don't know how you live with her. Power to you buddy.

Loki

Gracie=^o.o^= said...

You doggies are soooooooo funny. Imagine a book called "The Farting Dog". You will never see on called "The Farting Kittie". Not that it doesn't happen to us we are just so much more careful where we do that sort or thing. Thanks for your suggestion that our destination trip this year be in Australia. I will let you know where we are going after the drawing and I announce it in a post.

Two French Bulldogs said...

We like your book the best
Benny & Lily

FiveSibesMom said...

Good choice in books, Mango! The FiveSibes are all giving it a paws-up!

Sue said...

Our Mom says that book your Mama read sounds good to her. She just finished reading a book where the lady character volunteered at a shelter playing with the homeless dogs and cats. Then at the end the lady and her husband adopted one of the dogs. Mom said it was a good fluff read, but we all thought it sounded like great literature, especially Sebastian who is concerned about homeless dogs.
Morgan, Sebastian and the Porties

Berts Blog said...

Mango dude, you crack me up. and I need that now.
thanks

scotsmad said...

We are still chuckling. Mango Belly Butter...who woulda thought!

SHE might take note of this latest book. SHE's reading and enjoying the Ambersons.

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & roxy

Stacey said...

Haha! Oh gosh, I laughed at that picture of Mango with his book. I agree with him, with it being great literature ;-)

Maggie Mae and Max said...

Mango,

You and your sweet momma crack us up! Mom sent your mom an email 'bouts her trip to Massy-Chew-Setts so let your mom know so her can check fur it...'k? My mom says dat book sounds interestin', her is in a book club so maybe dat will be da one her suggests to read.

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae and Max

Casey said...

Good for you, Mango! You have to stand up for yourself and your blog. I don't know why anyone would bother reading a book without a dog in it.

The Boston Lady said...

Mango, please let your momma review books once in awhile. She seems to always pick good ones. This one I am adding to my list, should I ever be able to sit down and read again. I MIGHT even read the book you were reading as I have two Bostons who are quite skillful in that area. Ann TBL

houndstooth said...

BOL! Mom has Walter the Farting Dog along with a real stuffed farting Walter. She takes it to school on days when the other teacher in class isn't there and tells the kids that it's a secret. They always laugh like crazy over that book!

Bunny

Marjie said...

Momma's book sounds good, but yours looks like a tootin' good time!

chicamom85 said...

Mango, Walter is a fine book, I love it. I try to be like Walter more and more, you never know when I might need to protect my family. I can only imagine that your toots would be most frightening to any intruder.

Loveys Sasha

Mitch and Molly said...

Your book definitely looks like a better read to us, Mango!

Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly

IRIS E DONA said...

You are right Mango ! Who reads a book without dogs ???? No one!

Kisses
Iris

Priscilla said...

I can see that both you and your momma read very well!

meatball said...

hi mango!

meatball said...

i will get my mommy to read me walter the farting dog. and maybe my mommy will read the book that your mommy likes:-)

garthriley said...

I have to go get the Farting Dog book. (Although I must admit I prefer to eat books rather than read them.) Mom is still scratching her head about the need for "belly butter".

your pal,
Garth

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie said...

We are delighted you put your paw down Mango. What a cheek trying to take over your bloggie!

Hope your book was a good read.

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Oh Mango, I needed a good laugh!! Your convos with your mom are hilarious!

Ruby said...

BOL!! You just cracked my Ma UP!! She was laughin' and chucklin' and makin' weird noises.....
I do agree Mango....no dogs, no go.

Kisses,

Ruby

Bocci said...

Yes! We agree-great literature!

jadu said...

this is right and needfull and very helpfull. I really need to know this.I wish you post this type of things many many times. I have a dog food site all news about any dog food news about there likes, cost, activity are here. that link is http://www.petfood.com/

Rama's Mama said...

Great post! I must get that book, altho the kids fart more than the dogs do around here. :-/

Rama's Mama said...

Oooh, I wants ta read the doggie fart book!

~Sassy
http://sassysslobberchronicles.blogspot.com/

Jacobi said...

Dear Mango,

The people do not know what's important, do they? Silly people.

Licks,
Cobi

PS That book is good, but I do not know any Dogs who fart so it must be fiction. Certainly not me. I never make any smells. Particularly not after eating salmon. Or turkey skin. Yum.

Blueberry's human said...

Probably your human already read all the books there are about dogs and so she had to read that one. Yep, that's probably what happened. At least they mentioned a dog once in that book - can you believe some books don't mention a dog even ONCE??? It's an outrage.

;)

Au and Target said...

Mango, you have pawsome taste. Farts over Literature any time!

Daisy Dog said...

That was a cute post! I want a book review :)

Chester said...

You never fail to have me rollin' on the floor laughin'....whether it be you OR Mango Momma!!!

Woofs and silly slobbers,
Chester ;0=)

The Island Cats said...

Mango, the mom says you gave her the best laugh of the day! Thanks for that!! :)

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

We've had a chat with OUR Mom, and she is now back to reading books with doggies in them. She's quite fond of a series of mysteries set in ancient Rome (I have no idea what Mom's obsession with ancient history is all about... maybe it's because Latin was a spoken language when she was a kid!) - luckily the main character was adopted by a mutt early in the series, and now he (and his girlfriend) don't travel anywhere without their doggie. The doggie's name is Nux, BTW, and she's a purebred mutt. Heehee. But at least Nux has more than a passing mention in the books. I think your Mom needs some serious help when she reads books that mention doggies on in passing, and even then, it's a Collie! *sheesh*

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

PeeEss: We're quite disturbed by the Mango Momma Belly Butter. I mean, that is a serious WTF item...

Tucker said...

BOL this is the best book review ever!

woof - Tucker

PeeS - since you puts your paw down can you come over and take care of the kitteh problem at my house?

Reuben said...

"Walter the Farting Dog" is the correct book for you to read. Will you does a review of it when you is done? I loves to review my people sister's dog books!

Love,
Reuben