Momma: Mango, is it OK if I borrow your blog today to write a book review?
Me: That depends, what book is it?
Momma: It is called His Family by Ernest Poole.
Me: Never heard of it. Are there doggies in it?
Momma: Oh yes, see? Right here on page 284 "The herd passed on and George followed behind, his collie dog leaping and barking beside him."
Momma: And what?
Me: And like, duh, what else? Was it a boy dog or a girl dog? What was the doggie's name? What did it eat for supper? Did the doggie know any cool tricks?
Momma: Well, um, that is the only doggie part of the book.
Me: Seriously? You want me to let you use MY blog to write about a dumb old book that has the word "collie" in it? Are you for real?
Momma: Oh Mango, it did win the Pulitzer prize and it is a wonderful story about how life has a way of sneaking up on you and the best laid plans can go awry and I think that dog mommas out there who are, you know, middle aged, would relate to it and...
Me: Hold it right there. I don't give a flying fig about going to a rye in the middle ages and I don't care if it won the Olympic Gold medal. If there aren't any doggies in it, then no dice. Go write your own blog. You can call it "Mango Momma's Stupid Book Review Blog About Books That Nobody Cares About Because THEY DON'T HAVE DOGGIES IN THEM!"
Momma: No need to shout. Maybe you're right. I could write my own blog, but I don't think I would use "Mango Momma" in the title.
Me: Why not? It's your name, isn't it?
Momma: Yes, but people who google "Mango Momma" are likely looking for something like this...
Me: WTF is THAT? You are making soaps from your jelly in your belly? Maybe if you increased production you wouldn't need to keep buying bigger pants.
Momma: Um, perhaps... but, you know, I'm not sure that anybody would read a non-doggie book review blog.
Me: And thus the penny drops.
Momma: Sigh, maybe you're right. After all, this is YOUR blog - and PeeWee's too of course.
Me: Word that, lady. Go busy yourself whilst I enjoy a REAL book.
|Now THIS is great literature!|
Mango Man! Oh yeah!