Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bread Machines

Hector Wheelie here for Wheelie Wednesday.

It has been brought to my attention that some of you are not familiar with automatic bread machines. Let me fill you in...

The automatic bread machine lets you make fresh bread with almost no work! You just dump a bunch of stuff into the bucket, set up the machine, and you have freshly baked bread. You can even set it on a timer so that its ready when you get home (assuming you are one of those mean peoples who abandoneds their doggies to go to WORK). Note that the floor is the best location as it tends to vibrate and could walk right off a table (as ours did). I help out with the user manual.

In case you can't read it, its called the Breadmaster Ultimate. And the zucchini bread was totally yummers! (I am still wearing my homeland defense gear as I am in boot camp with GI Joe).Hector Wheelie! Over and out!

P.S. I booked Mango for a grooming ASAP! His Relentlessly Huge self has already caused stains on the living room addition floor! I'm not sure a grooming will do the trick since whatever it is he has in his jowls appears to be at least partially permanent marker.

P.P.S. Mango didn't want to alarm his pals, but Master has been in the hospital with the sickies since last Friday. So I am asking you all to please send your doggie zen our way that he will come home soon and get better.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I am a Bird of Prey

In order to use up some of our zucchini, momma decided to make zucchini bread. And before you go all congratulating her on being so clever, she totally cheated by making it in an automatic bread machine. Midget thought the machine was ever to fascinating, but as you can see, I couldn't be bothered.

Then due to the fact that she is let's say, kitchen challenged, even the bread made in a machine didn't come out right. See this? The front end fell off. I mean all she had to do was get it out of the bread bucket and she couldn't even do that.

Ugh. I found a feather from that hawk in the back yard. When I stuck it in my collar, I started to have a weird, out of body experience, like I was flying with the hawk!And circling for prey.Imagine a giant Mango bird of prey swooping down
Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Suction and Pool Malfunction

Before I get on to the main topics of the day, I am pleased to announce that thanks to my diligent gardening.

We have actual Wally-melon growing in the garden. It is still small, but it will grow. Yes indeed!

Back to our topics. After the big house cleaning yesterday, Momma said she needed to get a real vacuum. So today, this box arrived.

We were both very curious.Uh oh. We didn't know that there was assembly required.I volunteered to help with the instructions, but they were all in Spanish! Oh no, I need help from Lorenza pronto! And why does it say Mango in the instructions?Whoops, OK, here we go, the English version.Thanks to my help, Momma was able to assemble the new vacuum machine.As you might recall, it was just yesterday that we had the emergency house cleaning, so the house should be clean, right? Momma took the new machine for a test drive and here is what it picked up out of the living room.Yowsa! I think I see some Grandpa Angus hair in there. The new machine has a light to tell you when the floor is clean and Momma went back and forth like forever until the light turned green.Here is what came off of the carpet in the study just a day after cleaning with the old vacuum. Momma is a true believer.That was fun. Now time to go out in my big yard. I was distressed to see that my swimming pool was empty!Upon closer inspection, I discovered bites which had compromised the structural integrity of my pool (bites consistent with some particular pee-wee midget pain in the butt).Lucky for me, Momma was close by to give me some fresh hose water.Some individuals need instruction on how to drink from a hose and still maintain your dignity.Like this, little dude.Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Housecleaning Day... ho hum

Lazy Momma slept until 7:00 this morning! Then, after breakfast and some back yard bitey face I was informed that we would not have walkies because there was some sort of house cleaning emergency.

I responded to this news by going into the corner for a good sulk.

Get away from me. I'm busy feeling sorry for myself.Midget likes to help with the housework. But I don't think he is much help because when he helps momma vacuum, first I hear, "Dexter NO!" then "Dexter LEAVE IT!" then some HBO words and threats to send him back because he is such a bad dog.The only part of housework the guy is good at is picking up cobwebs.So that's about all that happened today. Boring, huh?Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Hanging Out on the Weekend

I keep forgetting to show this to you and I am sure all the black and tan mom's and dad's will be most envious. We have a crystal Grandpa Angus.
Can you see the sparkles it makes when the sun shines through it? I think that other thing is a crystal pee-wee (where's the crystal Mango Man?).

First thing I did this morning was to water my wally melon patch. In honor of the one and only Wally, I only lift my leg to Wally height whilst watering.
Now you tell me. If the squash is not going to stay in its cage is it wrong for me to do some pruning?I mean that thing is going to take over the back yard if somebody doesn't do something.

I don't want the neighbors thinking that we are sloppy gardeners.

I just trimmed this one back a tad.Momma pulled a couple of the zucchini out along with purple and yellow green beans. That's really confusing because they are green beans, but they're purple at the same time. I don't get it.On to morning bitey face. I am honing my herding skills on pee-wee. I run SUPER FAST! Hey, where did he go? Midget takes his corners at very high speeds causing his rear wheels to lift off.I think there is a body slam in somebody's future.Smack Down!After a workout, I like to stretch my leggies to avoid sore muscles.Check out the extension! I could totally do ballet with legs like this.Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Check it out. I got to pull Gaia and Petey around NYC on their first date! Pee-wee acted as footman. I hope nobody was too bothered by my, ahem, farting. Just think of it as jet propulsion.

P.P.S. Check out the website of my brother Floyd (Eastwinds Comfortably Numb). He went to Westminster this year and is a total champion who gets lots of smokin hot gals. But I think we are twins, so maybe if he ever needs a stand-in...

Friday, July 25, 2008

More Pictures, Fewer Words

Well, its no news to my best pals that I have been so bloggie deprived lately that I haven't even been able to keep up with what is going on in DWB land. But I threatened Momma that I was going to advertise for a Momma that lets her dog blog whenever he wants to AND does not try to starve him to death and so she let me have some pooter time (provided I open with the following story).

So, today, when Momma got home she saw a red tailed hawk about the size of pee-wee fly up from behind the observation deck and perch on the fence. Hmmm... she thought, that's odd. But then, she saw a squirrel come staggering out like some drunken sailor. The squirrel had blood on his head and he charged right into this metal thingie we have in the back yard (story for another time) and bounced off kind of dazed.

Momma was all upset because she thought she was going to have to you thin ice the squirrel, but it took off to this tree and managed to run up it.

Meanwhile, the hawk was still on the fence watching the action, so Momma opened the back door and let me out so I could chase it away (but I only did it half heartedly, after all, hawks have to eat too, right?).
On a different topic, the weather here in Master Chew Sits has been WILD. You can't tell from this photo so much, but yesterday momma said it was raining like a son of a b$%ch (they even had tornadoes).

Now I'm not bothered so much by the rain, and you know how certain pee-wee midget hump meisters love to be wet.So even though I was denied walkies due to inclement weather, I still got to go big yardin' and play bitey face (but no pictures because the camera doesn't like the rain).

Afterwards, time to dry off. Now, I will tell you that the best part about getting wet is drying off, because you get all rubbed down and you can wear your cape!

That feels goooood!I like to hide under my cape, like Girl Girl. Can you see me in this picture?Other, midget doggies, do not know the restorative benefits of a good rub down.Like he is totally attacking the towel. Hello?After soaking rain bitey face and a good rubdown it was meditation time.Sometimes junior wants to meditate in MY bed (he didn't want me to show this picture because it makes his butt look fat - hee hee).Then he goes all obsessive compulsive in his bunker about getting the pillow just right.Its totally annoying because he is all banging around and wiggling.Jeez, dude, just assume the position already, alright?Finally!Last night, I was totally abandoned whilst momma and master returned to Jordan's.They claim to have been furniture shopping, but I suspect they returned to the IMAX to see the Batman movie again.

[Momma - do not listen to the Relentlessly Huge, we were furniture shopping]

Here is Master's new chair.

And mine...Plus a new carpet which should allow any color of dog hair to blend in.And this really sweet table (ignore upside down master examining the workmanship).Yeah, whatever! So this morning, Master found this in the garden!He says he is going to do the dental analysis to find out who attacked his baby squash (uh oh).

But the sun did come out today and I was able to enjoy my Friday evening rib bone. Of course pee-wee gets one too (why?) but he takes his into his bunker.

Whilst I prefer to enjoy my rib gone al fresco!Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Momma has promised me enough pooter time this weekend to catch up with all my pals. Hooray!