Saturday, August 30, 2008

Typical Saturday

I have a VERY important announcement, so pay close attention. Poor Chai had a terrible accident with a bad toy and had to have his tongue amputated! I kid you not. You can read his story here. This is just so upsetting, so please do everything you can to make sure every doggie knows what a terrible toy this is and that it should be removed from all doggie stores.

Phew! Just too horrible to contemplate, so on to happier things.

Its Saturday! And that means the Running of the Errands in my one and only Mastiff Mobile. Hmm... it appears that pee-wee has been hoisting my ride to transport his midget monkey. Dare I enter? I mean sometimes he barfs in the car and he always farts.

But I'm a brave guy, so I got on in.

First stop was the library. As usual, I was on alert as Momma has many outstanding warrants from the library police. But mercifully, the library was closed, so Momma was able to leave her contraband books in the exterior book drop and make a quick escape.I'm trying to settle down for the next leg of the journey, but that monkey is annoying me.Not too many stops today and before I knew it, we were at the dog store! Momma immediately checked for the bad toys (of which they had none) and she alerted them to the danger.

And of course, my car cookie! Today it was a baseball (go Sox). One of the peoples at the store offered to help momma carry out her bags, but she really just wanted some Mango loving (I was too busy with my cookies for smoochie face pictures).

Not only did pee-wee leave his stinky monkey in my ride, but my bed had been moved by almost six inches!!! The Mango does not like change! So I was a bit befuddled on how best to recline and found myself in this configuration.Upon our arrival at the Mango Estate, momma informed me that I was really just a bit too stinky and went for the box of butt wipes. Due to my most generous size, I am ill equipped for performing my own butt licking which would involve feats of limberness that are absent from my repertoire .So I'll admit that occasionally there is some, ahem, accumulation in my nether regions that one could possibly interpret as stinky. Do what you must, woman, but no photos please. Just too personal.OK, I think putting up with that procedure warrants a cookie.Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Finally Friday

Its finally Friday and a three day weekend. Hooray!!

Given that I am on a starvation diet because Momma has said there is too much Mango man, that bag of cookies is looking better and better. So maybe I could possibly have one?

Yes, thank you, because I am wasting away here...

I still have room for some more.Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I'm a Retriever!

That's right! Its Dexter day! Check out how handsome I am becoming.Regarding this whole discussion about whose toys are whose. First off, all the toys around here are super sized, lest some dinosaur sized beasties accidentally swallow them. That makes it tough on a normal sized dude such as myself to really play properly. Plus, the RH doesn't actually "play" with anything. Instead, he just creates a perimeter of toys and gets all grouchy if anybody else tries to take one. Come on, check this out, he's got the duck by his fabulously large butt. I suppose if he let loose with one of his relentlessly huge farts the duckie would shoot across the yard, but that isn't really playing, now is it?

Does this look like he is actually doing anything productive with the duck other than keeping me away from it? Plus, I assure you, that the point in space he is so fixated on has nothing in it.Fortunately, the effort of actually "thinking" about stuffies soon wears the big guy out.Then I can go into action.I find myself irresistibly drawn to chase things. I indicate to Momma what I would like most to chase thusly.And she throws it and I bring it back. Now I'm not sure why this is so satisfying, but it sure is.Different things present different challenges for the chase... hmmm... holy roller or kong?Kong! This is great!Sounds like "drop it?"Sure, but only if you promise to throw it again. Oops! These toys are so relentlessly huge that sometimes they kind of slip out of my mouth.And sometimes I am SO FAST that I run right past Momma before stopping.But overall, this retrieving stuff is a total blast! Plus it makes Momma super happy every time I bring it back because she never had a good retriever dog like me before.Dexter done!

P.S. From Mango Momma... I have been totally hogging the computer, but I promise to give my Bubba extra time to catch up with his pals this weekend.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Wheelie Wednesday (in disguise)

Mango (oops) I mean HECTOR wheelie here.Can you tell its me? OK, well, Hector is passed out dreaming about Autumn...I squeezed into my wheelie suit because I have some things to say. Can I take the wheelie suit off now? Because it kind of pinches.

You see this monkey? This is Mango's monkey.
Not pee-wee midget hump meister monkey... Mango's monkey!



From the monkey! Do I have to give you a talkin to?

Whose monkey is it? Say it! Say it! Mango's monkey!Come on... Mango's monkey!Well, little dude sure needed a talkin to and here I am explaining the facts of the Mango estate to him

He tried to impress me with his levitation.

Go ahead, runt, bite my face. You're still not getting the monkey. What a pain in the butt this midget is.I WON I WON I WON!!! That's right! Mango estate, Mango monkey.Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

An Award and a Package

Where has the Mango Man been? Nothing dire going on around here except that with summer drawing to a close, it seems that everybody is getting very busy. For example, Momma had to do some emergency pickling this weekend because "the fruit won't wait!"

Plus, Master went to the hospital to get a picture taken of his figure which appears to not be connected properly.

I'm no nurse, like Lacie, but that doesn't look right, does it?

So what? Nothing to me since it isn't MY finger and I am not allowed the pickled fruits anyway.

So, I want to totally thank my bestest pal, Joey, for a stain award.

Cause that whole stain thing was a bit confusing to me, but if Joey gave me an award, then it must be good, right?

This package came in the mail which I knew could only contain good things for the Mango. Open up with great haste!

Hmm... it appears that there was a sale on holiday cookies. It doesn't matter what day it is, they look yummers to me, so let's have one already.Watch your fingers!Huh? Pee-wee gets one too? I think there were only enough for me.Also in the box were this monkey (which was declared a backup monkey for when pee-wee eventually beheads my primary monkey). And a wiggly giggly thing which is supposed to be a super fun toy... we shall see.

You know, I am thinking that the best thing out of that box just might have been all of those cookies.But I would need to sample just one more to be sure....Yummers!!!!Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. I am going to find a way for sure to make sure I visit all of my friends this weekend (Momma is such a pooter hog).