Sunday, May 31, 2009

Dexter Day - Walking for Orphan Dogs

Today was my big fund raising walk for orphan dogs. I want to give super thanks to all the dogs and people that sponsored me. My sponsorships totaled over $400! WOW!

Before I tell you about the actual event, Momma is forcing me to say that I was a "super cracker dog insane pulling monster" the entire time. Which somehow interfered with her ability to enjoy the day. Whatever.

OK, I arrive at the show and who do I see, but my blogging pal Norwood! In person!

Norwood is a really dapper looking dude, and just about the same size as me!

Here I am with my momma and Norwood and his mom. If you look closely, you can see that I was kind of distracted...

How could I focus? There were dogs EVERYWHERE!

I did get a little nervous when I thought I spotted the Lacie Beast herself. But I figured out it wasn't actually her since whoever it was wasn't handing out phone numbers to every dog she met.

Some of those Border Collie dogs did Frisbee tricks for a while. Big deal. I was more interested in those booths along the sides which had lots of yummers foodables in them, but Momma told me that she needed both hands to "control me" and couldn't make any purchases. What a grouch!

Norwood got picked out of the crowd to do a trick. There he is standing on the left.

I am not sure what trick he did, but he won a super cool stuffie. Nice job, pal.

Then we went on the actual walk part of the event. It consisted of walking through the woods on a narrow path with about a gazillion other dogs and I was super excited and wanted to go exploring and so was pulling and making "gah gah gah" sounds the entire time.

Finally, Norwood and I left the pack to cool our toes in a nice brook. I accidentally almost pulled Momma into the water (whoops).

Once the walk was over, Momma decided that she was ready to go home, and into the Mastiff Mobile I went. I had a blast!

I was kind of tired when we got home, so I went to take a nap and no sooner did I close my eyes when the Relentlessly Huge grabbed the nice gift bag that I received for raising so much money.

And discovered there were actual foodables inside.

And ate them!!!!

Leaving me with just the crumbs. That is so not fair. After I did all that work all I get are crumbs?

Oh well... I'm not the sort to hold a grudge.

Dexter done!

P.S. I got held back in agilities (again). I didn't pass the discrimination or something. Yesterday my teacher put the tunnel right under the A-frame. I thought that meant I got to choose which obstacle to do, so I chose my favorite, the A-frame, every time. Guess I chose poorly...

Friday, May 29, 2009

Where I Come From - by Dexter

Dexter here!

It seems that lots of doggies are posting about where they came from. Me? I never met my dad, but I came from a nice family of labradogs at a place called Nightwind Labradors. I think my dog mommy kind of picked my dog daddy up at one of those dog show places and he lived in Maine or someplace so they had a long distance relationship.

Anyway, I really enjoyed living at the Nightwind place. There were two dog mommies at once and so there were 13 of us pups all playing together with our mommas and aunties and uncles.

One day, when we were just four weeks old, dog mommy said that some people were going to visit so that we could interview them and see if we wanted to go and live with any of them. I found this movie that records the day and it has my dog mommy in it! She is big and blond and beautiful like Miss Sophie. I am not sure which pup is me.

All the people were very nice and after they left, dog mommy sat us all down and told us what life would be like with the different families. She said some of us could be show dogs if we wanted and some of us could be hunting dogs like her. That hunting stuff sounded good to me.

But then she told us that there were two people who were actually not looking for a puppy for them, but were acting as agents for a doggie who was looking for a pal. She said that the doggie was very sad because when he was less than one year old his Grandpa Angus the Airedale had crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and then a year later his big sissy, Beautiful Raja, had also crossed over and now he was an only dog.

Mommy said that this dog was lonely and really needed a friend to cheer him up. She said the doggie mostly lay around the house and didn't even really want to play too much with his momma. But she also warned us that he was a very big doggie and if one of us went to live with him, we would have to be ready to be mindful of his hugeness. In return, whatever pup went to this big dog's house would have a nice yard to play in, take long walks, go to agilities, have a soft couch to sleep on, and a best doggie friend.

Oh yeah, she also said that the people who lived with this doggie had never lived with a labradog before so they might not be sure what to expect. Finally she cautioned us that to live in this house would require being very confident but also respectful.

Well, I have to say, that sounded just too good to pass up (I mean any doggie can go to shows or go hunting, right?) and I raised my little paw and said, "I choose them!"

So a few weeks later, the people came back and bundled me in a warm blanket. I rode in a car next to the man's chest where I could feel his heartbeat and I was very calm.

But... I never expected to find THIS at my new house!

Honestly, I wasn't entirely convinced at first that what I was seeing was an actual dog because he was RELENTLESSLY HUGE!

He seemed a bit confused by me as well.

He said his name was Mango, which I think is actually a fruit, not a dog, but I wasn't in any position to point that out to him

He let me in his house and showed me his toys.

And it turned out that he was actually a really cool guy! I can't say that we were best pals from the start because when I first moved in, the big guy yelled at me a lot because I didn't know the rules.

But pretty soon, he was teaching me the ropes...

How to pee outside...

How to enjoy a nice sun bake...

How to bitey face (The movie is kind of long, but towards the middle you will hear Mango making strange sounds. Hearing those sounds did make me question whether or not he really was a doggie - and our first monkey is in it - I accidentally beheaded the monkey shortly after the movie was made).

Oh yeah! He also taught me how to look fierce! ARRRRRR!

Sometimes I admit I was a little bit afraid of him; especially when he tried to get into my bunker with me...

But I have to say that Mango has proven to be a great brother and I really like living here!

Plus Momma lived up to her promises too and I get to go on nice long walkies, sleep on the couch, and go to agilities classes. And you know what? Mango secretly told me that he likes me too and he is much happier with me around than when he was an only doggie.

Dexter Done!

P.S. Poor Mango is trying to find photos of where he came from. Now I really love the big old guy and hate to burst his bubble, but I think he is going to have to go to the natural history museum to find his dog mommy or daddy, because...

Well, we all know that he may think he is a doggie, but he is actually a mutant dinosaur sized beastie!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Mango Parade Options

It has been raining here in Master Chew Sits, and you know what that means... here I come for...

Super Mango! In my magnificent red rain cape!

Ha! Eat your heart out, squirt.

My cape loses its super strength when in contact with the labradork. Too bad, little dude...

I am the only super dog around here! Note the keen and penetrating look on my super face! Please try not to smoochie your pooter monitor in order to gain access to my Mango powers.

My new pal, Jasmine, now has her own blog! She is a strange doggie. I suspect she is actually made of cheese, but you can see for yourself.

Several alert readers have offered useful suggestions as to how I, Mango, could participate in Pee-Wee's dog walk fund raiser without causing undo mastiff fatigue.

So last weekend I decided to try out some alternative modes of transportation that would enable me to join in the fun without too much strain on my large and not meant for long walks self.

Given that it will be a parade like atmosphere, why not enter on my own Mango float?

Or, if the wind is right, perhaps I could eat plenty of liver, thus forming deposits of gasses in my large and slow to digest self which would enable me to participate as an exciting balloon (of course they would need some strong peoples to keep me from totally blowing away).

While amusing, those options do not seem very practical. However, my good friend, Pumpkin, came up with something that I think might work.

When Pumpkin completed her fund raising walk, her mom bought her this sweet ride.

Yes, that is what I will do. I am going online right now to order one. What do you think?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Wheelie Wednesday - Recovery (and a new award)

Hector Wheelie here.

As some of you may recall, I recently had a tutoring leaving me with a bit of a wound in my most private area. I briefly considered getting some of these, but Momma but the kibosh on that. Oh well.

My stitches got a little itchy, so Momma said I would need to wear a cone until I was fully recovered and since they didn't have any Wheelie sized cones at the V-E-T I had to make do with this contraption.

Dexter was bemused by the entire affair. At least somebody is still having fun.

I haven't been able to go walkies either, so my exercise has been pretty much limited to inspecting the various things growing in our yard.

In the garden we have some broccoli and Swiss chard.

And the cherry trees show promise of lots of great fruit for making jam and such.

I wanted to inspect the barn progress, but my stupid cone got stuck in the fence and I had to be rescued. Very embarrassing.

Then Mango complained that I was getting too rambunctious.

So Momma stuck me in the recycling bin to keep me calm.

Having never been crated before, I did not take kindly to it and was banging to be let out, but Mango told me to hush up.

And Dexter started dancing on top of my crate yelling, "nah, nah, nah, Hector's in the crate!" Not very nice.

This is all very frustrating for a normally active guy like me. I hear the stitches are coming out this week, so hopefully I will be back to my old adventurous self soon.

So while I am trapped in my "crate" not much I can do in the way of action, so I would like to take this time to thank our good pals, Dozer, Dottie, and Coop who honored us with this brand new award! Wow!

I love those little short legged corgi dogs!

I would like to pass it along to

Bobo and Meja, Peanut, and Fiona because they don't get enough bloggy time and I have to sometimes wait a long while between seeing them.

Also to Tula whose momma sees my dotty old hen out on walkies almost every day but is driving in her car, so can't really stop and say hi.

I also thought I would try and make some new pals right here in Master Chew Sits, so I am also passing this along to;

Miss Pugsley who seems like a spunky little gal

And Diva who looks totally like Waldo.

Hector Wheelie! Over and out!

Monday, May 25, 2009

More Mastiff Moves (and accidental snuggles)

After Pee-Wee and I accidentally rammed Momma's knee yesterday, she said now she knows how Tom Brady must have felt cause that guy who rammed him was about Mastiff sized.

Oh boo-hoo! First off, she should know to get out of the way when I am busy biting the squirt and secondly, all she is doing is walking funny and taking ibuprofen so I don't think it's the same at all. Quit your whining.

I, Mango, have been working very hard on some new moves and I finally got Master to help out with making a movie of my most amazing feats of agilities (Pee-Wee eat your heart out).

Sadly, we still have not purchased an actual video camera, so you will have to forgive the weird underwater effects from our dumb digitals camera.

OK, here goes!


Hee hee. Did you see Momma almost fall over? So much for all that ballet training, huh?

As you can imagine, I was totally exhausted after that vigorous workout. I couldn't even make it back into the dog cave.

I just collapsed in the hallway (please ignore icky walls, apparently the hallway is yet another "under construction" part of my estate).

When I was preparing my movies I found this most disturbing image trapped inside the digitals camera!

It seems that at some point in the recent past, Pee-Wee waited until I was most deeply meditating and snuck up and made actual body contact with his labraself and my hugeness. EW!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dexter Day - Humiliation

So yesterday a package arrived in the mail from this place which Momma said was for us.

OMG! Look what it was! A custom hoodie for the Relentlessly Huge! Can you believe it?

Momma said the nice lady at My Pet Haven helped her to measure the beastie and then she had to order about 900 yards of cloth to make something that actually fit him.

Even so, the hood was kind of snug due to the fact that his big old head is unimaginably large (the lady kept calling momma because she couldn't believe that the measurements were actually correct).

I found the whole thing kind of amusing. I mean, if it was possible for him to look even dumber, that super sized hoodie really did it.

But then the unspeakable happened!

Oh, I hope Randi doesn't see this. It is just too humiliating.

Momma tried on the dinosaur sized hoodie and it was even big on her (plus she though that having the message "Relentlessly Huge" so close to her jolly bottom might not be a good fashion statement).

Then Mango suggested we go outside to show off our new outfits!

This is too much! Please ignore the toxic slobber on my face. It is a hazard of living with the drool monster.

What a slob! He got his nice outfit all dirty already!

Then he yelled at me when I pointed it out. Plus he was disrespecting me for my dumb T-shirt and it was bad enough that I had to wear it, but I didn't need him blowing his disgusting kibbles breath in my face. I could have expired.

What else could I do?

SMACK DOWN!!! Who's the big dog now, you freakishly large beastie?

Oh yeah, I need to tell you that shortly after this photo was taken, we both were not looking where we were going and full body slammed into momma's knee (that would be about 300 pounds of flying dog). Momma cried a little and hopped over to the fence where she clung for dear life as our bodies continued to fly through the air. I hope we didn't break Momma.

My shirt got a bit dirty as well from all the Mango slobbers and such, so I volunteered to wash it.

And dry!

Dexter done!

P.S. Mango Momma here - for those of you who never thought you would find outfits for your full sized dogs, I recommend visiting My Pet Haven. They worked with me to get Mango's measurements and the shirt fits him great! As for Dexter, well, he is more of a nekked kind of guy.