Somewhat Disturbing News and Pressies!

I intercepted a most disturbing email from my sissy-in-law, Shannon containing few words, but THIS ACTUAL PHOTO!







I fear the worst. Look at those little piggies assaulting that nice blond gal. I sure hope my human brother isn't planning on letting one of those Pee-Wee Midget Hump Meisters into his house.

Best to dwell on more pleasant thoughts.

Such as,

I got a pressie in the mail from Mango Minor! He said it was a belated birthday pressie. Whatever. Pressies are good anytime.


Let's see what we have...




As usual, the foodables portion of my pressie was confiscated by the DOH for "later."


No bother, there were two exciting toys to choose from.

Which one first?







The big green thing! This is fantastic. It is all bumpy inside my mouth and makes most satisfying moans and groans when I bitey it.






Proper playtime is exhausting. I needed to take a break.







Hey! How did that happen?





Alright, on to Spidey. Let's see how tough you are. Gimmie, gimmie!







Whoops, I accidentally detached his Spidey rope. Hey, that's kind of fun all by itself, you know?




For about 30 seconds. Heh heh.

Then it is back into action to conquer Spidey. He put up quite a fight.







Had me knocked down and struggling for my life.







Until I managed to reposition him. Let me tell you, all the fight went right out of old Spidey once he was at risk of a beheading.






Momma was concerned I might give Spidey a view of my insides.

Well, that IS a possibility. He's kind of small and slippery once he stops wiggling. Nom, nom, nom.





Having subdued Spidey by placing all but one leggie into my large and super hero conquering mouth, I got to wondering what had become of Pee-Wee.

Ugh, I should have known. I think he is going to break something the way he flings his little self about like this.










(sometimes I cannot get movies to work right, so you can also watch the stupid labradork by clicking here).




Bearing in mind that I am supposed to share, I invited the squirt over to have a go at Spidey.





Retrieve, retrieve, retrieve, what is it with this kid?





I am sorry to report that after a most vigorous entertainment with my new toys, they somehow wound up in a forbidden zone (per Momma to be returned "later" due to requiring snoopervision).

Is it later now? Please can I have my pressies back?






Thank you, Mango Minor, I love my Spidey and Green Thing and can't wait to sample the foodables!






Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Dexter Day - Walkies, Something Strange and Other Stuff

My plan to wake Momma up earlier so that she would have more time to play with me in the morning totally back fired. I gave her the old snooter in the face as soon as the sun started coming up around 4:30 AM for the past couple of days.





But instead of being grateful and taking me for longer walkies, she was actually grouchy and our walks were shorter and slower because she said she was depraved from lack of sleep (which is odd because she is always talking about how she falls asleep during meetings at work so its not like she doesn't get naps).

But I decided the best plan was to let the lazy thing lie in bed until almost 6:00 AM! But then she still complained because she said she couldn't sleep with me staring at her. I can't win.


The good news is that I just found out that Momma is staying home from work the whole week which means more time for ME! In fact tomorrow we are going to a special private agilities class. That makes me really happy because I don't get enough ring time in our normal class.

I plan on going over the A-frame about 246 times. Yesterday I was very disappointed at agilities because they hid the A-frame and I spent almost all class working on weave poles. BORING!

We took a movie on walkies this morning. It is a long movie with lots of boring parts, but you should watch it because you will witness the new torture "game" that I have been forced to play called "leave it." You will also see how clever I am about looking extra cute the closer we get towards home so that Momma forgets all about the TOTAL INSANE PULLING CRACKER DOG that I was in the beginning (before we took the movie).

You can watch by clicking here.

Did you see that weird thing I found on walkies? Momma said it is a horseshoe crab and has no business being this far from the ocean. Maybe aliens dropped it. I was understandably cautious.






Naturally, when we arrived back on the estate it was time for me to exercise the Relentlessly Huge.

Run, you beast, run!





I have to let him catch me sometimes.




Can you believe this? I think we played for about 30 seconds and next thing I know he is doing a standing meditation.

Hello? Anybody home?






Rats! Looks like somebody was messing with my Frisbee while I was walking and now it doesn't fly right.

I loved that Frisbee!








Now I know there are a lot of contests going on for sleeping and meditating and placing paws and whatever and I didn't really feel like participating, but Momma started bugging me when I was taking a nap.





What is it? Can't you see that I am comfy on my couch?






Oh bother, paw placement, what is that about? Here, are they placed enough for you?








How about this? You can call it "paw placed in the air now get out of my face."





ENOUGH! Put that flashy thing away and let me rest my labraself!




Dexter done!

Mango Poop Detective and Contests

The Mango is very distressed by the discovering of a most peculiar activity that takes place in the UK. You can click here to watch the movie. I am not sure what to say. At least I don't see any doggies participating.



For the past several nights, I have been rudely awakened from my meditations at odd hours.





To Pee-Wee making really gross sounds;

Squick - chi, squick - chi, bluuuuuurp... GACK!

Each time I would race out to see what he was doing only to see him shoot some barf like substance out his stinky mouth and then suck it right back down as if it were connected by a string.

Perhaps it was, because yesterday, I found THIS in his poop!

WARNING! PHOTO OF SOMETHING FORMALLY IN POOP COMING UP!

Whatever could it be?


Time for Mango Poop Detective to take charge!






I seemed to recall that I had of late spotted the midget spending an inordinate amount of time in the dog cave examining his bottom near the chair upon which Momma piles many things.







Upon closer inspection, it became clear that the chair had been permanently deprived of some of its stuffings!

BAD DOG! BAD DOG!

I advised that it was time to apply the Bitter Apples lest the little devil consume the entire chair.






The Dotty Old Hen actually tasted it herself to see if it would work.

NASTY!

(don't worry, she didn't squirt the squirt, she is just giving him a whiff).







Case closed thanks to my super sleuthing powers. Alimentary my dear Watson (hee hee, I had to say that).





Now there has been much sadness in blog land lately and so I want to remind everybody that several doggies are running some most exciting contests that should help us to have good cheer.

Bolo is seeking photos of doggies doing their snoopervising duties.

Ike is looking for your best photos of summer.

I think Mona is collecting sleepy photos, but you will have to visit her bloggy because I accidentally lost the pee-mail she sent me (Mona, maybe you can send again, OK?)

The little scottie doggies have a stick out your tongue contest. For this one you have to post your photos and then let those scotties know you did.

Pee-Wee was quite keen to get the jump on this one, so I let him choose a photo.






Amateur! This is what a stick out your tongue picture looks like!




And of course Eduardo has his big multi-contest contest going on (at which I am a judge). The Lovely MFT herself is judging the Best Paw Placement. I am quite stressed over what photo to submit of my large and complex placements, so I am asking my friends to help me choose.

What do you think?

#1

#2

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Sad News and Eduardo's Big Contest

The lovely Dakota crossed over the bridge yesterday and that makes me very sad, but she had bad sickies and needed to go. Please send your kisses and warm thoughts to her family.

I am not so good at transitioning from sad news to my normal bloggy, so you pause here and think about Dakota for a minute and then read on.

Today's Bloggy

I need to clear the air on something.


I DO NOT SOUND LIKE A WHALE!!! Sheesh!

Momma here - yes, big guy, you do kind of sound like a whale...

Maybe whales sound like ME! Did you ever think of that, huh?


My good pal, Eduardo, is running some pretty exciting summer contests and I AM GOING TO BE A JUDGE!

That's right, I, Mango, The Relentlessly Huge, will be judging the

MOST MEDITATIVE POSE

Please do not confuse MEDITATIONS with SLEEPING!

Meditations are when you are calm and centered in your happy place.

Sleeping is when you howl and groan and move all your leggies and sometimes thump your tail.

Got it?

To inspire you, I am herewith including some samples of some of the most industrious meditations which occur on my Mango estate on a daily basis;

Synchronized Meditations

Crescent Meditations

Sun Baked Meditations (with bricks)

Stupid Dorked Out Pee-Wee Midget Hump Meister Meditations

Family Meditations

Shameless Meditations

Seated Meditations

And, a most advanced move not intended for amateurs




Flews Akimbo Meditations

So get over to Eduardo's bloggy and enter your photo today!! Tick tock, tick tock.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!