My buddy, Max, has been bugging me for a while to come and visit him in South Africa.
He's been sending lots of photos showing off the beautiful countryside within walkie distance of his house.
Not to mention some pretty impressive wildlife.
So I agreed that an expedition would be just the ticket.
Sadly, the internets access is, well, spotty at best in South Africa, so I was compelled to find another way to plan the details of my trip.
Being a resourceful chap, I discovered that I could communicate with a hammie radio using Norse code.
The uber geeks that momma works with provided me with the hammie radio, but what about this Norse code crap?
Fortunately, my pals Bajas and Virus live in a place called Norway, where, if I am not mistaken, they speak actual Norse. I contacted them right away and we were ready to communicate!
That Virus was kind of rude.
He provided an alleged transcript of my conversation with Max which is not at all how I remember it.
Mango: Hey, Max, how ya doin?
Max: OK, when are you coming to South Africa?
Mango: I have shiney teeth
Mac: You're breaking up. Sounds like shark teeth?
Mango: Your buttocks are like diamonds
Max: Mango! Get the manual out. You can't have just said that.. never mind.
Mango: I am arranging transport via bathtub for my large and purple self.
Mango: I think buzzards have lips
Max: Can you put Dexter on please?
Mango: Should I bring my friends?
Max: Sure, as long as you don't bring Lacie.
Mango: When the puffles come to Vegas you are in the mood.
Max: I'm going to sign off soon
Mango: Did you say, "Bring Lacie?"
Max: Do not bring Lacie, I repeat, DO NOT BRING LACIE!
Mango: OK, I will bring Lacie, but I warn you, she is very rugged and unedited.
Max: This isn't working.
Mango: See ya soon pal! Over and out!
Mango Man! Oh yeah!