Saturday, October 31, 2009

Stuffie Wars

Note from Mango Momma:
Mango is taking 11 doxycycline tablets every day to combat his tick diseases, liquid meloxicam to address the inflammation in his joints, and 100 mg tramadol twice a day for the new pain and swelling in his front leg. He is feeling much better, maybe too much better as I am having trouble keeping him from bouncing on his legs even though they still are causing him to limp a bit. I let him out in the yard with Dex figuring he would be happy to crunch on a toy while Dexter played, but Mango wanted part of the action too, so I had to cut things short.

Yuh, whatever momma, sheesh, do you have to blab everything?

I like this story very much as it demonstrates my most impressive cognitive skills.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Friday, October 30, 2009

I Have an Ouchie


Please visit Dory who is being tortured in a most dastardly fashion by her mom. Oh the horror!

And OC and gang could use your healing thoughts. There was a bit of a dust up at their place last night and OC got a very bad boo boo.

I need to respond to all those doggies that thought the Mango should not be wearing a toot toot. Let me remind you that I, Mango the Relentlessly Huge, actually performed in the Nutcracker ballet last year. Yes indeed. You can read all about it by clicking here.

But I fear my dancing career might be coming to an end.

The other night I was just walking around minding my own business when all of a sudden my leggie got totally ouchie! Oh help. I am not ashamed to admit that I cried a lot during the night, but momma came and lay down with me and that made me feel better (although she complained most grouchily about sleeping on the floor - hey, what about me).

So yesterday I was walking around like this! Do you see me limping on my front leggie?

Ouch, ouch, ouch! Full sized doggies such as myself cannot walk on three leggies if one hurts.

We went to the V-E-T where I was most concerned lest they give me the sleepy medicine and take photocopies of my bottom again. I even yelled at the V-E-T tech (just a little bit).

Then the doctor felt me all up whilst momma gave me cookies and I drooled on the V-E-T tech. That doctor is strong! She was pushing and pulling on all my leggies and my back and everything.

She said my ankle was a little swollen. Maybe from walking funny due to my back end still hurting. So I got sent home with some new drugs which means now I have to take 11 anti-tick pills, some liquid anti in flame stories and four ouchie drugs every day! If that all doesn't make me feel better really soon then I will need to get photocopied again and maybe ultra sounded (I think that will improve my hearing).

Oh yeah, and did I mention that Master had something called cat rack surgery and momma had to drive him into Boston today for his post op checkup and of course it TOTALLY FREAKED HER OUT! But he is doing fine except for taking like 1497 eye drops a day.

And to top it all off, Momma says she has something called Seborrheic Dermatitis on her face which is totally messed up because I googled that and it said that is something that BABIES get on their ASSES! WTF? My momma has baby ass face? Plus she is putting some goop on her face now with roids in it and she looks like this (or maybe that is just how one normally looks after driving into Boston at rush hour).

As for me, I am just relaxing because, to be honest, those pain pills make me feel a little loopy.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Not to mention that the V-E-T said I was getting a tad "portly" from limiting my exercise due to ouchies and needed a diet, plus Pee-Wee has been more insane than usual due to not getting his usual attentions and not even getting cuddles because I have become super velcro doggie. Tough break, little guy.

P.P.S. I found this video on YouTube and have requested a cold box upgrade post haste.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

My Toot Toot

The Mango is always most eager to receive gifts, but when I heard that the Beast had sent me something, I let it sit in my PO box for many days lest it totally explode (I know her sense of humor).

Then I told momma to pick it up and take it to the work place for a few days just to make sure.

I finally decided it would be safe to open it.

The first thing I saw was this mesmerizing card showing the wee creature demonstrating how she got such big butt muscles.

How does she do that anyway? I studied this most carefully. Perhaps I can add this move to my Mango repertoire.

But what of my pressie?

Apparently the Pee-Wee could not wait and had pilfered the contents of the package to discover...

THIS! A toot toot!

I was so relieved that he tried it on first because judging from his body language, I think momma must have gotten his bits caught in the Velcro. Ouch!

In a frenzy of black fur, the little pointed headed monster tore MY toot toot from his self and began to demolish it.

This will never do. Give the toot toot to the Mango at once!

Being unable to contort into the proper position to affix the toot toot to my large yet curiously gracefully bottom, I needed to seek assistance from momma.

Oh please! It is supposed to be on my hips, not my belly. FIX THE BLOODY THING!

That's more like it. What do you think?

I am confident in my Mango-ness and quite capable of sporting a pink foo foo thing whilst still maintaining my dignity. Don't you agree?

Actually, the toot toot was quite small and I could not secure it around my girth, forcing me to (just barely) fasten it about my neck. Even there it kind of pinched.

I don't know, I think I kind of look like Judy Garland.

Somewheeeeere, over the rainbow....

Um, thanks little Beast, I think.


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wordless Wednesday - Slobbers Edition

Mango Man! Oh yeah

P.S. Get yourselves over to Dory's bloggy to vote in Smiley Fest! It is totally the biggest contest ever and will make you happy just looking at all the pictures for sure.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Monosyllabic Monday - ROTE Edition


Our kind of red tree.

Hard to turn in such a small space.

Time to ROTE! Please do not leave with my back end not in.

Make haste! The ROTE fills me with glee.

Our lawn. Green. Thanks, Rick.

Our small tree is quite red.

First stop. Car stuff.

This is dull. I sure hope things pick up.

Oh, now this is more fun.

The cops! Watch out!

Big truck! EEEEE! It will ram us for sure!

Space gal book place.

Dog book. Good choice.

At last!

Gifts for my pals.

Food for me! Yum!

Red light. Stop please.

Ghost in a tree.

Home so soon?

I will just take the Dork's good dog toy with me if you don't mind.

My rear, his front.

Nap time.

Bye for now.

Mang, Oh Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Thanks for all good thoughts for my mom on her bark day. Sheesh. That was hard to say monosyllabically (whoops).

Sunday, October 25, 2009

If it's not a Tennis Ball, it's Just a Toy

As alert readers are aware, our toys are kept hidden away and typically brought out one or two at a time. The reasons for this escape me.

But today, Momma said she was going to get out ALL our toys at once to see which ones we liked best.

As you can see, even ALL my toys are quite meager compared to my pals (OK, well, the stuffie toys are inside, but still).

I selected this orange ball which fits quite nicely in my large and wanting to squish things mouth. Sure, I know it is really some intellectuals stimulations foodables dispenser, but I find my intellectuals are quite stimulated just by chomping on it, thank you very much.

After I got bored with that, I went for the cow udder nom nom thing. I still don't really know what it is, but it is certainly satisfying to chomp on.

But then THIS happened! Can you believe it? Out of all our toys, somehow the two that I, Mango, most wanted to enjoy wound up with the pointy headed little monster.

There is one thing that Pee-Wee and I agree on most absolutely. And that is there is only ONE toy that is the most fun of all. TENNIS BALL!

I noted that our tennis balls had curiously been left out of the fun pile and instructed Momma to remedy the situation with great haste.

See me smiling now? Oh yeah, because there is a most fun tennis ball right inside my large enough for three mouth.

I even let Pee-Wee play with one.

Uh oh, excuse me, um, I seem to have misplaced my tennis ball. Can any doggie help me?

Ah! There it is.

Here is my tennis ball fun movie. Looks like somebody needs to clean the lens on the flashy beast.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Momma is forcing me to post a link to this boring movie of Pee-Wee. She says it shows him learning a trick but I think it just shows him running around the kitchen like a total cracker dog and eating hot dogs whilst I was otherwise occupied.