Earlier this week, Momma announced that PeeWee was going to spend the day at daycare. I thought it would be funny to spray paint this sign on him. Hehehe.
Have fun, squirt.
Well, apparently my little ploy went a bit too far. According to the daycare people, PeeWee was "very popular" at daycare and enjoyed lots of attentions from the other boy doggies.
I think it made the little dude a bit despondent because the next day he totally slept in until after 7:00 in the morning! That made me feel bad that I had played such a mean trick on him.
But as luck would have it, that very same day, I received a most timely post from the Lacie Beast herself.
LOOK! Labranards for sale in right in Pennsylvania!
It says "home raised, unbelievably adorable, will go fast!" Who knew you could grow your own nards? Kind of like sea monkeys I suppose.
Surely a new pair of labranards would be just the ticket to give the little chap a higher ranking at daycare. I immediately got on the phone to inquire.
Mango: Yes, hello, this is the Mango. I would like a pair of labranards.
Human: You want a pair?
Mango: Yes, a pair of labranards! You do have some left, right?
Human: Well, I am afraid I only have one left, but it's a beauty.
Mango: Just one? Does is work as well as two?
Human: Um, I think so. One is usually plenty. Have you had a labranard before?
Mango: Duh, I should think so. I lived with TWO for totally almost two years.
Human: Fine. Then you are an experienced owner.
Mango: They weren't mine! They belonged to my brother PeeWee! I haven't been tutored! What do you think?
Human: But you did live with them, right? You know how they are.
Mango: Have mercy, of course I do! When can you send them, um, it, to me?
Human: Send it? No, no, no, you have to come down and collect the labranard yourself.
Mango: That is impossible. The Mango does not travel outside of Rt. 495, you will have to send it to Master Chew Sits.
Human: Well, I guess I could do that.
Mango: Yes, and be sure to put it on ice so that it doesn't go bad on the trip!
Human: I don't think that will be necessary.
Mango: Hey, up to you, but if it spoils before it gets here I am going to withhold payment.
Human: It won't spoil, unless you do the spoiling.
Mango: Did you say soiling? Whatever. I will pay you extra to put a few snaps on it. I want to be able to take it on and off for smuggling into daycare.
Human: Snaps? You mean a collar? Daycare sounds great. Labranards do well at daycare.
Mango: Duh, that's the point. No more humping.
Human: I don't think there will be any humping, this is a female labranard.
Mango: Huh? What kind of scam are you running anyway?
Sigh. I guess things are not always what they seem. I did try.
Sorry, PeeWee. Looks like no new labranards for you. Maybe later we can practice your big dog snarly faces.
Mango Man! Oh yeah!