Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Mango the Retrieving Mastiff

Alert reader, Bolo, sent me this photo of hisself posing in front of this intriguing sign. Exotic Mangos... is there any other kind?

To paraphrase Stephan Sondheim, "Some doggies got it and make it pay, some doggies can't even give it away." Know what I mean?

It will come as no surprise to learn that I, Mango, have taught myself the sport of retrieving a tennis ball. Yes, friends, that's right. I did it totally on my own and I must say that I find it a most invigorating activity.

I am always quite enthused when I see the tennis balls come out. Note that momma has acquired a high lie scoop so that she can throw my Mango sized tennis balls without causing strain on her weak little muscles.

How, you ask, did Mango become a retrieving mastiff? Well, I will tell you that when PeeWee came home, momma had visions of sitting on the observation deck and tossing the tennis ball for the little dude and having him bring it back as a way to burn off some of his labrasteam.

To his credit, he does throw his entire wee self into chasing after the ball.

But he is prone to just running right past momma rather than returning it to her leading me to believe that she might have been duped into buying a faux retriever (I think it is too late for a refund).

Determined human that she is, I was quick to note that she had introduced foodables to lure the little chap near by and relieve his pointy snooter of the ball to make room for a snack.

Observe here his startling expression of labrajoy over finding a nommy tidbit about to join the rocks in his belly.

Ha, said I, if there are foodables involved, I am all over that action. Thus I found myself leaping athletically about the yard most anxious to return the tennis ball and receive my reward.

I even perfected my eye mouth coordination so as to avoid any unnecessary spinning and jumping.

Admittedly, my anticipation of a reward got the best of me in the beginning and I frequently dropped the ball prematurely which enabled PeeWee to swoop in and abscond with it.

I thought the safest course would be to approach momma (food dispenser) as closely as possible before trading the tennis ball for some livers or hot dog.

A WILDLY good strategy! Nommy!

I can even thwart PeeWee at his own game given my ability to concentrate on the trajectory of the desired object instead of dashing about in mad circles like some limited attention span doofus heads.

SCORE! Mango wins! I should call that retriever factory where PeeWee came from and offer up some of my Mango-ness to improve their bloodlines.

A note to any doggies who would like to emulate my large and figuring things out self. New tennis balls should always be broken in with a few good squishes. This soaks them enough so that they are a bit heavy and non spherical and no longer present random direction changing bounces.

After an exhausting game in the hot sun, nothing better than a nice cool,


wait a minute,

the midget is soaking in my water bowl!

Fear not, I was able to avail myself of a proper drink sans labracooties from my private water supply.

And there you have it. Mango, the amazing retrieving mastiff!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. To see me in action, click here.


Anonymous said...

Mango Man! Oh Yeah! That labradork is really missing some DNA. Way to suds up those balls. They looked like they needed washing anyway from all that bouncing.

koko said...

What would a dog do for some nommies... everything I guess, including a game of fetch for a non-retrieving mastiff... but I like your less-calorie burning strategy, Mango... btw, hate to say this, you really look relentlessly stationary in the header pic :)

Licks, hero

Kate said...

Mother Dearest is wondering whether you are interested in becoming a tutor at the School of And-You-Call-Yourself-A-Retriever!

I do not fetch. Mango, I fear that you have become a somewhat perfected Peewee retriever... (Your Momma has played a sick joke on you Mango!)
Dexter has the right logic, only return the ball (covered in DELICIOUS labracooties I might add - they are not only slimy but adundant in nutrition) when there are snacks to be traded.

Fail not! I'm sure with the Mango love song you can coax those Retriever factories to enhance/improve/diminish their already extraordinary bloodlines.

Good luck!

monica said...

Good on ya Mango - outsmarted that all over the place labratoots ! and he didn't see it coming!

Lola and also Franklin, too said...

You out retrieved a labradude! That should be front page news everywhere because it's definitely in the "they said it couldn't be done" area. You have accomplished a relentlessly huge feat and I am so impressed. Maybe you should send this video to Tula along with some flowers and your apology. I bet she couldn't resist such talent.

wags, LOla

Niamh said...

Genius retrieving Mango! You outsmarted your pee wee brother and got lots of treats. And who knew that you could move with such speed? We enjoyed your video.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

Mango the Maltese kiddo said...

What can't Mango do? Bravo Mango!
Please talk your mama into throwing a pizza pie frisbee to see how quick you catch it and RETURN it to the food dispenser!

Chester said...

Hey Mango-you got Mom in tears from laughin' so hard at your retrievin' Mango-ness. I myself, find your comments to be dedogatory to my labradork, I mean labrador ego.

Whatever! PeeWee and I both know it's much more fun to frustrate the 2 leggers. Besides, we are so good-lookin' in our Lab coats that we can usually get a biscuit just 'cuz.

Woofs and frustratin' slobbers,
Chester ;0=)

Rocky Creek Scotties and Rocky Creek Ramblings said...

Mango - you're the man!!! And a darn fine writer too!

Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...


Woo have talents too numerous to paw!

Khyra & Khousin Merdie
PeeEssWoo: Don't furget what day of the month it is!

NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

BTW, we just saw on our Tails of The Tundra Siberian Reskhue Facebook Page it is YOUR day today:

Today is National Bubba Day & Leave The Office Early Day! National Bubba Day honors anyone named or called Bubba. LET's CELEBRATE!! So let's hear from all the dogs with a name or nick-name of Bubba and let's all leave early to spend time with our dogs!

AND we've also diskhovered it is Yell 'FUDGE' at Cobras in North America Day too!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

Brilliant!! Brains over Labrabrawn!

Ina in Alaska said...

We enjoyed Khyra's comment! Around our parts we think most days should be called Yell At Moose In Your Yard Day!!

Great retrieving! PS Isn't that dog by the Exotic Mango sign a Mastiff wannabe? Looks like maybe a brindle Sharpei.... xoxoxo

Rebecca said...

Good job Mango, I only play fetch if I want to, but I totally know how. Your one smart pup!

Abby said...

Hi, Mango...

Oh My...What CAN'T you do...

You never cease to amaze...

Abby xxxooo

Heather and Pumpkin said...

Boy Mango, we sure have a lot in common!

I just learned how to fetch too. It took me about 3 months to learn. I still get a treat after every time. I mostly fetch inside, but I have been learning to fetch outside too. Of course its a totally different skill set!

And boy do I agree with you about the cement pond. There is nothing worse than getting one's small and cute self wet!


The Army of Four said...

Hmm. So perhaps Dave isn't a Lab in a Sibe suit after all. Maybe there's a mini-Mango in there? Ha roo roo roo - he loves that retrieving thing. Me? No way. If Mom wants the ball, she shouldn't go throwing it away.
Play bows,

Raymond and Busby said...

Foodables will make a dog do all kinds of stuff! We cats tend to get them just for being aloof and ignoring our humans.

Martha said...

Mango, as ever we are impressed with your ability to turn you paw to anything, well as long as treats are involved.
We reckon if your mom can't get her money back on Dexter then she did at least you you to compensate.
What a retriever you turned out to be.
Now as for us bassets, we are happy to watch from the comfort of our armchairs.
love and kisses
Martha and Bailey xxx

Mack and Mia said...

Uh, Mango, Dexter is a naturally talented. Seriously, this is what we labradudes were BORN to do. He is clearly just pretending to throw you off a little. Boggle your mind a wittle bit. He LET you win that game because he wanted you to have a fair chance. FATSO!

Wags and woofs,
Mack and Mia

Mollie Jo and Bobo said...

Mango you are quite the tennis ball doggie! You might even give me a run for my monies!

Wags and Licks,
Mollie Jo

Stella said...

You did OK, Mango! Me, I will retrieve a ball two times and then I assume Mom doesn't really want it or she wouldn't throw it far from herself. I am half Labradudette too, but I just don't get the over and over part of retrieving.


WFT Nobby said...

Well I always tell Gail that if she wanted a retriever she should have chosen a retriever.....
Toodle pip!

brooke said...

Mango your retrieving ability is most impressive!
Darwin will chase what's thrown and that's the extent of the retrieving. hahaha.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Mango! Maybe you should have a dee-en-ay test done, too! Maybe you're actually part labradude! Now wouldn't THAT be something if you and PeeWee were related by blood?

I'm kinda sorta getting the hang of the retrieving thing. But Brudder Ranger, being a terrierist, feels that if mom or dad throw away the ball, it now belongs to HIM.

Wiggles & Wags,

Ms. ~K said...

You always knew you were a "closet Labradork"....
Licks and sniffs,
Zack, Sassy and Buddy

Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly said...

Go Go Mango!!! You RAWK!!!! Labradork AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Woofs and Kisses!
The Fiesty Three

The Adventures of the LLB Gang said...

What a wonderful game of fetch Mango...I bet you got lots of nommies!

Smileys & Snuggles!
Dory, Bilbo and Jacob

Lacy said...

w00fs, wow mango, wooda never u for the bringing it back kind..heehee me will go fetch, but like PeeWee, me wont give it up..

b safe,

LabLady said...

Faux Retriever...I think NOT!

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

mango, we hope you realize that you just gave Pee Wee credit for helping you learn something:) Mom noticed that there is some sort of inverse algebraic equation going on there, the smaller the dog, the farther the ball gets projected:) Your Mom is very smart getting that special racket - she can now throw two balls at once.

Happy fetching.

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Golden Samantha said...

LOVE your bibs up top - are you about to nom down on lobster or something? Well, hot dogs and liver are most excellent treats for retrieving - very, very impressive, Mango! I like your style - you definitely have super mastiff moves - not sure what's up with Dexter bypassing Ma - if I don't bring ma my kong, I don't get to chase it again heheh! Also love the "exotic Mangos" sign - that's royal!

Big Hugs xoxoxo

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh Mango you are cracking us are hysterical!!!! Forget the refund, just change the sign"Pee Wees 99 cents."
Benny & Lily

Mack said...

I kinda play fetch like Dex.

I think he should get his own kiddie pool!

Marjie said...

We full sized doggies need to contemplate the best way to get something done, instead of just racing in circles. As long as you can avoid drinking labracooties, you are golden.

And I see you dudes got a gift from El'bow! Bibs may not seem like the most manly getup, but they are most practical for keeping us clean!

Kari in Alaska said...

you are super smart Mr. Mango!

houndstooth said...

I am most impressed by your retrieving abilities! I feel that I should point out that you might want to talk to your movie editor and perhaps point out that a caption reading "loose ball" might not be best inserted over that part of your anatomy! Mom and I are still giggling over the defective retriever!


Scout and Freyja said...

Mango, you are truly an athlete of the greatest proportions☺

Anonymous said...

Oh Mango,
I am far behind you! If a ball is thrown in my direction it hits me in the head. and then I make a sad face and hide in my hidey hole.

your pal,

Asta said...

You cewtainly awe exotick, but I think they fowgot a few zewos on that way awe you going fow 99Centses.
Youw bwilliance is evident in the pawsome twaining you did wif you Moma.
Smoochie kisses

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Darling...would you seriously do ANYTHING for a hot dog?

Hmm...(Lacie's mind wanders a bit to the fact that it's June and the Mango hasn't planned their all.)

We just caught up on your robins? Bees?

Swimming labradorks? Er Peewees?

I might need to come up there to protect you and lifeguard Dexter...

Unless it storms. It's been storming here for like two hours and I can't stop drooling and shaking. And it's the third time this week. At this rate I'm gonna DEE HI DRATE...

Slobbery suds like kisses,


HoundDogMom said...

We are so impressed with all your hidden talents that are beginning to show. So glad your human has the ball throwing thing, the slim balls don't look like fun to toss back to you. But since we are hounds we know all about that slim stuff. Continue to bring us your hidden talents Mango. The Hounddogs

Anonymous said...

Haha your entries always crack me up! I love the closeups. Hope you get some chlorine to get rid of the labracooties!

1000 Goldens said...

Mango, I will be speaking with my Mom immediately about this post. I have not been receiving nommies when I return the ball to her. She has so much to learn, and if it weren't for gentlemen such as yourself, I would not have learned the proper protocol! Thank you, Farley

Laura and The Corgi, Toller, & Duck said...

Wow, congrats on outsmarting the boys and teaching them a new trick and exercising Mango to boot!

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mango!
I have seen exotic mangoes here but they don't look like you!
Good job with the ball and getting the nomies!
Kisses and hugs

tula monstah said...

hey mango - meet ya at mad willie's for a double scoop! after your morning labraball exercises...geesh. what's next???


peesees: you can call my mom supah summerfun auntie dee soon.. last day is June 18th. that's when she's a whole new F.A.D!

Lucy-Fur, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

A non-retrieving retriever and a retrieving mastiff? Most exotic, indeed. (And a very strange household, I might add!)

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Mutant Puppy

Flo de Sendai said...

Hello hello, what an adorable pair you have !
You banner put a big smile on my face....just before to go to bed, it's late here in Japan.

Best regards from Flo, Nana, and Uyanga.

Kelly said...

Mango man, I think you are smarter than you get credit for!

And where can I find one of these exotic mangos?! Woooohooo!

Sue said...

Hey Mango Man,
We really need you in our Bandana Day post. We've got a bunch of little dogs and we need someone of size to balance things out. Will you join us?
Tsar and the Porties

Infrequent Flyers said...

As a smart pooch, I'm glad to see you know which side of the bread is buttered. As for Dexter, I think the name "Labrador Retriever" is often a misnomer. Cabana is not the best at retrieving, even with the promise of foodables.

Taffy said...

You are quite amazing! I'm with Zim....why does she throw the ball if she wants it back. Seems like your human might not be the tastiest treat in the jar to me!
PS: You have probably posted about this in the past but I've always wondered how you got your name.

Anonymous said...

You solved a mystery for us. Frankie's neither a chiweenie nor an italian greyhuahua! She's a faux retriever! As for the kinds of mangos you were talking about... the sign says there are mangoes too, those must be a different kind.
Love your blog as always, too bad for me I can't visit more often.

Moose said...

Mango the Mastador Retriever? Better than Labrastiff I think.
That is crazy how good you are at it! Moose will run after a toy but then it is keep away. If I have food and throw a ball he is not going anywhere that leads him away from food. He definitely missed the retriever injection at the labra-factory too.
I am glad you are finally being appreciated for your many talents Mango!

Nubbin' Tails said...

Retrieving for noms....hmmm...we need to ponder that one. We pretty much think if mom wanted the ball so bad why did she throw it away in the first place.


Mr. Nubbin'

ocmist said...

WOW! Now I feel good about myself since I can retrieve the stuff that Grammy throws too! If the great Mango can do it, then I don't have to listen to that dumb sister of mine that says I shouldn't lower myself to doing things like that. I didn't THINK I was lowering myself cause Grammy is teaching ME to work as her helper dog, too, and bringing her things is part of that job. A BIG part! But I know it takes some work and you are super smart to figure it out so well!

By the way, I was wondering if you get into that "drinking bowl" that Peewee was laying in? It looks like it is even bigger than our swimming pool! Gimli

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Whoa Mango! You are the dude fer sure!! Sorry about the labracooties. Hope you didn't ingest any of them. BOL.

If the treat isn't enticing enough, I will lay down and gnaw on my ball rather than return it to the tosser...Or if it looks like some oThEr pooch wants to steal it from me...then I clamp down on it 'cuz I am stingy!!

The Oceanside Animals said...

hello mango its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow yes fetch is the best thing ever isnt it??? dexter duznt no wot he is missing!!! ok bye

The 'splorin' Wolfies said...

Observe here his startling expression of labrajoy over finding a nommy tidbit about to join the rocks in his belly.

The Life of Riley said...

Wow Mango... you can do something mum has never got me to do. I'm a golden retriever, so you think retrieving balls would come naturally, but I give up after a couple of throws. Maybe mum needs to give me more food - though fetching my water toy and jumping waves to get it needs no reward. I'll do that forever. Have a good weekend. Woofs, Riley

Oskar said...

Great job! Foodables are the best way to get us to do what they want.

Unknown said...

Wow, Mango - you're retrieving now?!?! Gosh - look what amazing things are flooding in now that you've opened the training floodgates! :-)

You know, they use retrieving ability to pick out puppies that would make good service doggies coz it shows "willingness to work with humans" and interest & drive - I think since you started your training, you're becoming like a new doggies with a totally different outlook on life and filling your life with so many new activities and things -it's just wonderful! Just goes to show - it's never too late to start training!

Honey the Great Dane

Cinnamon and Mint said...

Mango, how can you play with one ball for such a long time? Being a power chewer, I destroy a tennis ball within a matter of a few minutes!

Joe Stains said...

hmm I could be convinced to give chase and return if hot dogs were involved. You are truly a genius my friend.