WTF Wednesday - Special Weekend Edition by Dexter

Dexter here, reporting on a special weekend edition of WTF Wednesday.

I was unexpectedly transported to agilities school on Friday night. No worries, right? Agilities rocks any day of the week.

But when we arrived there was NO agilities equipment.

Instead, the ring had these giant jelly beans all over the place.

I wasn't too worried until all of a sudden this little Miss Asta look alike leapt up onto one of the jelly beans.

WTF, little WFT! That looks dangerous!

Then she started doing all these weird things like stand on two leggies. Heck, I can't even do that on level ground, let alone on top of a big blue jelly bean.

There must be strings attached someplace. Maybe this was a doggie magic show.

Then a bunch of black and white doggies all came out and started doing gravity defying moves.

Is this some kind of a joke? Where is the dog walk? The tunnel? The (gasp) weave poles? Has the DOH gone completely mad?

This was starting to look a bit ominous to me.

I spotted another labradog in the crowd and he certainly was NOT engaging in any death defying foolishness, so I felt safe until I saw THIS!

End of days! End of days!

Ruh roh. This is looking bad for yours truly.

To my horror, I saw the DOH raising her hand and heard her shout out the ominous words, "Dexter wants to go next!"

My friends, I most certainly did NOT want to go next. I wanted to go to the nearest exit, but then momma brought out the foodables bag and I am ashamed to admit that I gave in to my baser instincts and suddenly found myself in the following precarious position.

And before I knew it, I was entirely upon the jelly bean.

I used all my mighty labramuscles to steady myself and in between nommy cookies I overheard trainer lady (who also happens to be one of my favorite vet ladies) talking about how this is good exercise and will improve the condition of my already well muscled bottom.

Back on level ground, I was ready to go home and I will share that I was strangely exhausted after just a few minutes atop the jelly bean.

You can watch the movie I made of my adventure here.

What next? I am not sure it is an experience I would like to repeat and I found it very disturbing when trainer lady told momma that the jelly bean would be good for the Relentlessly Not Moving and Afraid of Large Objects too.

Dexter done!

P. S. From Momma...

The class was full of hard core training people (unlike me), several of whom had already introduced their dogs to the therapy ball. We learned that this kind of work uses different muscles than running and jumping and is quite good for overall structural well being. Everybody also commented on how just five minutes on the ball is exhausting for the dog. Hmmm....

Dexter was actually quite game about the whole thing. He put his front end on without any coaching and was very stable (although a bit nervous) with his whole body on. I have no doubt that he could become quite adept at it.

Will I buy one for Dex? Probably. Will I put Mango on it? Doubtful. Stay tuned.

Here is a movie I took on the way home just because I always kind of like it when we have to wait for the train. Something both soothing and exciting about watching a train go by. Hope it views OK. Blogger made it look funny and shrunken.

Goodbye Beautiful Callie

Beautiful Miss Callie lost her battle with the bad cancer today. Our hearts are heavy.

Super Inside Bitey Face Action!

Some alert readers questioned why my pool was so sparsely "full" of water on Wednesday. Apparently it has suffered a hull breach rendering it unable to contain refreshing water. Momma claims that I, Mango, am the cause due to stepping on it whilst it was inverted for reasons unknown.

Not me.

No way.

Let's face it. This has been the hotest most boring summer ever in the history of the world.

I am constantly trapped indoors with no entertainments save the idiot labradork.

And he is all the time,

"Hey Mango! Wanna play? Huh? Huh? Do ya? Wanna bitey or chase me or even move at all?"

Just look at that face. As if!

While I would much prefer not to engage him in any way or otherwise encourage labraproximity, I do sometimes become so weary of waiting for change of seasons that I am compelled to play bitey face with him.

Now you would think that most of our bitey action involves me trying to see if his pointy snooter will fit in my large and capable of hiding a chew wa wa inside of it jaws.

But you would be wrong because as of late the little upstart has been putting his pointy toofers on my actual self.

Ouch! That pinches!

Don't think I don't see you disrespecting me there with your labratongue.

The simple minded always thinking about food anyway midget can occasionally get misdirected and bites whatever is handy.

Moron.

Ah, that's better. Just hold still. I think I have you now.

Isn't all this action just exhausting to see even in still digitals?

Oh ish! I hate it when he does that. His stinky feet temporarily paralyze my mastiff self.

Labracooties!

Quit it! Ewwwww!

Well, that was most tiring. I think I have had enough.

I made a raw footage action packed movie of our inside bitey face. It is two whole minutes long! Yuh. No wonder I was exhausted.

Watch it here.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Oh man! I hadn't heard from my pals Nanook and Pooka in ages, so I was really juiced when they showed up in my google reader, but it turns out that they have both had really bad sickies. I am so worried about them. Yuh, and even though they are sick they still visited me about my alleged Caesar which was just so sweet that I got kind of teary. So please send them your best thoughts and visit them here.

P.P.S. This just in from Miss Kylie. Little Atlas went missing in Worcester Master Chew Sits which is west of Rt. 495 but not all that far from the Mango estate. So please, please, all readers in the area keep your eyes open. You know, we carry leashes in the mastiff mobile at all times just in case we see a doggie that looks lost wherever we are. We are hoping for a safe return of this little fella.

Wordless Wednesday - Trying to Beat the Heat

P.S. We totally won the video competition for the best birthday greeting for El'bow! Thanks for all your votes and Happy Birthday El'bow!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EL'BOW

Today is the birthday of my pal and fellow full sized doggie, El'Bow.

I made him a video greeting which you can watch here.

TURN UP THE VOLUME!

Happy Birthday pal!

Mango Man! Oh yeah! (and PeeWee too)

P.S. Anybody seen that Groucho lately? Holy crap!

I imagine that after his "date" with The Beastie he has been forced to assume a disguise. I didn't think he could possibly look any stranger, but this takes the cake.

Sadly, it is doubtful that this will discourage her attentions. Likely she will just figure it is another unsuspecting marriage candidate.

Momma Likes PeeWee Best - I KNOW IT!

I am sorry to report that Koi Agatha succumbed to her wounds and has joined Miss Snickers over the Rainbow Bridge.

Before you start reading, get yourself over to El'bow's special birthday blog contest. You only have until his real birthday which is July 27th (whenever that happens in Belgium) to vote for your favorite El'bow greetings. It is great to be sending you to a happy making thing after all the sad news this weekend.

Yesterday I showed you a photo of the muttonheaded doofus face labradork biting my snooter.

There appears to have been a shift in his attitude and let me tell you something...

I, Mango, am so freaking pissed off that it isn't funny. Why? Because it has become increasingly obvious to me that momma likes stupid PeeWee better than she likes the Mango. How do I know this? Well, consider...

On Thursday morning I got no walkies, no playtime, nothing, nadda, but the midget went to daycare. OK, fine, but momma totally PROMISED to do something FUN with me when she got home from the work place.

Now even though it was (finally) raining, I was still up for some mastiff action and I beckoned to her from my Observation Deck.

But would she come out and play? NOOOOOO!

Instead, well, look at the manipulative little devil all sitting in the dry spot. He was crying about how nervous he gets about doing his business in the yard and begging her to oh super please walkie him lest he explode and guess what.... she DID!

And then she and Master took off for parts unknown and left me home alone with his smug labraself.

So next day, Friday, I was delighted when Momma announced that she was staying home from the work place. I mean, that means Mango time, right? WRONG! She spent the WHOLE DAY doing the housework and then at the end of the day she took that annoying pointy headed creature on another walkie. Just him! No me!

She says, "Oh Mango! It is too hot to walkie you, but we can do some target practice to give you some exercise and stimulate your mentals."

Target practice? Are you kidding me? Any of you ever have to do this crap?

Yuh, it is all like, "Mango touch the ball."

Get a cookie...

"Mango, touch the ball" You can see I was getting a bit frustrated here. I AM TOUCHING IT ALREADY! WHEN DO WE WALKIE?

Come on, woman! Enough with the touchy feely training.

She even made a movie of my alleged exercise which you can watch for yourself here and see how it is no substitute for walkies. No way. Plus could she have possibly chosen more annoying music? That was no Mango melody.

Oh please love the Mango.

But no, even cute face did not work.

Oh the abuse!

But that isn't the worst, nope, not by a long shot.

Saturday morning is time for Mango to go to skool, right? WRONG! She took the PeeWee to MY skool and used MY time slot to play with him. I mean, WTF? Did I work hard to get into graduate skool so that the stumpy chow hound could spend quality time showing off and getting hot dogs (not to mention the nommy carrots that Norwood always brings for ME).

Then Saturday night it happened again. I kid you not. Momma is all, "I am going to walk Dexter to make sure he is empty because he sometimes doesn't want to do his business in the yard."

Hey lady! You have me confused with somebody else. Who cares if the leg crossing compulsive can't find a place to pee little monster doesn't go potty? WHAT ABOUT MANGO?

But my cries fell on deaf ears and then we were abandonded AGAIN and Momma and Master did not get home until totally the middle of the night. As if!

And just look at this face. Don't think he doesn't know that he is momma's most favorite doggie now ever. Sheesh.

And what of the Mango, the bubba, momma's snuggle pal?

Forgotten.

Abandonded.

Neglected.

Unloved.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Anybody else addicted to the Really Annoying Orange? My idiot momma is and so are the uber geeks she works with. Simple minds, simple minds...

Oh yeah, and Momma wants your opinion. We eat supper around 4:30 and then usual have our potty run and hour later so if she is planning on abandoning us (again) from 4:30 - 8:00 PM should we eat before or after she is gone and not here and not paying attention to ME or loving ME?

Good Thoughts Needed

Hey! Remember last week when I had my Caesar? Well we got so many comments and good thoughts and read every one. Sometimes when Momma was feeling scared she went back and read them again and they gave her great comfort and I KNOW that all your thoughts helped me, Mango, to feel better really fast.

So now I am asking you to send your good thoughts to some of my pals and their families who are sad and struggling to make sense of things, OK? It really helps. I put links under their photos for you to click on.

First, beautiful Nala who you might recall was our first runner up in Mango Minster 2009 in the hound group.

She has bad sickies in her leggies that make it hurt when she walks and might need the surgery.

Visit Nala here.

One of my newest friends, Molly, had a very bad Caesar and is in the doggie hospital all hooked up to the IVs and her mom is so scared. I am too. Please get better, little Molly.

Visit Molly here.

There has been trouble over at Butchy's place too. First a bad flood and many of the beautiful Koi who live there got stranded and their mom had to find them and return them to their pond. I thought things were going to be OK, but last night I read that a bad bird tried to eat Koi Agatha and now she is in the hospital fighting for her life.

I don't have a photo of her, but here are some of her pals during happier times.

Visit Koi Agatha here.

And finally, I learned that little Dottie crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. She was such a beautiful girl and she had to put up with dumb old Dozer and Cooper but she maintained her dignity throughout. Dottie was what you call a show off doggie and a real champion and she even recently competed in the seniors division and totally won for sure.

Visit Dottie's family here.

OK, did you visit? It is important because I got some really powerful thoughts from doggies that I didn't even know before, but it is all good.

As for me, other than PeeWee being more annoying than ever, I am right as rain. I will leave you with this disturbing photo of the midget biting my large and not meant to be in a labramouth snooter. More about that in another post.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Lightning and Another Day at Day Camp

Hey! It is almost time for El'bow's birthday. Not too late to enter his Happy Birthday El'bow contest. Click here for details.

Dexter here reporting that we have had lots of lightning and thunders, but no rain! Well, at least it cooled off a bit last night.

Even though there have been big storms all around us, they usually travel up Rt. 20 just north of our estate and don't make big winds or anything scary right on top of us.

Momma, Master, RH, and I like to hang out in the yard and watch the lightning storms.

I'm not bothered by thunder and lightning. I'm a gun dog after all and of course the Relentlessly Not Processing His Surroundings doesn't even know there is a weather event happening.

You can watch our latest storm here.

Not much action for me lately. Momma is suffering from the busy brain... again! Sigh. I even missed my agilities class this week (although we did practice weave poles in the yard - having trouble with that whole entrance thing).

At least I still got to go to day camp.

This week there was a goat there.

And a sheep!

Check out my new day camp movie here.

You can see how exhausting it is, especially with the gauntlet of doom at the beginning and end of the day.

Gosh, when I got home I just crashed. Not even the energy to get properly into the bed.

Hey! See the RH's big old foot there? Yeah, he is doing fine. Thanks again for all your nice words. Plus clever momma put a towel down on the carpet and it soaked up most of his stinky pee and then she used the Woolite Heavy Traffic carpet cleaner since it seemed to get the most votes and now the carpet is good as new.

After a restorative supper and a quick potty run outside I managed to drag my weary labraself to bed.

Day camp days rock!

Dexter done!

Such a Fuss...

Before I start, I want to ask you all to please send your good vibes to my pals Scruffy, Lacie (a.k.a. THE BEAST), and BabyStan and their Mumsie. Their Daddi is in the hospital with very bad sickies.

I was most surprised to see that Momma had stolen my bloggy whilst I was otherwise occupied. More so given that she posted about mysterious events of which the Mango has no knowledge.

What is this Seize Her that she keeps speaking of? And how can it be that so many doggies and their humans seem to know what it is?

I, Mango, have no recollection of the events she described with her dopey blue italicized letters. Although I do think that of last night was a bit curious.

It started off as usual with me relaxing and momma and master watching the Red Sox and eventually everybody went to bed.

Next thing I know, I am in the Mastiff Mobile with both Momma and Master headed who knows where. Huh? How the heck did that happen?

Note - this photo is a reenactment as Momma suspiciously did not bring her flashy beast nor use it during the alleged event.

I was wide awake and pretty amped up and eager to know of our destination.

When I saw it was the doggie ER, I couldn't have been happier. I love that place. I ditched Momma and Master and went into the special top secret back room where I was admired and patted and given the old celebrity treatment. After which I kind of dozed off.

Then, before I knew it, it was time to come home again.

PeeWee seemed really happy to see me and was quite intent on staying close to me. I wasn't really bothered. I could tolerate his labranearness, especially since momma slept on the couch close by. She said it was because she wanted to hear me breathing. Well, who wouldn't, I suppose.

It does seem strange that Momma was not feeling well today. She said she did not get enough sleep and was very worried but that reading all your wonderful comments made her feel much much better.

Me? I was pretty much ready for action all day long. Dang, but it is still really super duper hot so Momma won't let me play outside except in the early morning and late evening. Check it out, my very first walkie movie!

(Whoops! You will need to scroll to the very end for my movie. Blogger did a funny when I cut and pasted it).

Now I will say that I was caught red handed knocking plums off the tree, but I swear I did not eat any. Sheesh! Even I know that plum pits are poisonous, right? But I can tell that Momma was FREAKING that I even paid attention to them and she has seen some plums scattered around the yard, so there goes that entertainment.

I also want to tell you that due to Momma feeling funny she has not helped me to catch up and comment on blogs. Sorry about that. I think that Saturday night she hit the Mark all as Read button due to mentals overload.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Hey! Remember those baby robins on my front porch? Well, apparently they have flown the coup so to speak. Here is a photo of the last baby standing. This little one was most reluctant to leave the nest and spent considerable time just standing there crying like a big baby.

Then he/she (hey, if you know how to tell if a robin has nards, let me know) stood on the banister pooping and chirping and finally took off, never to be seen again.

HERE IS MY WALKIE MOVIE! I sure hope it works.