Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Lawn Tractor of DOOM!

Friends, this is not easy for me to write about. In fact it is so scary, so horrifying, so BEYOND IMAGINATION that you young pups might want to cover your eyes.

Before you is a photo of our lawn tractor. At rest it is harmless enough. In fact I have often showered it with my Mango-ness.

But as soon as momma sits upon it, she somehow melds and becomes one with it and turns into...


I am unable to control my look of terror at the sight of it!

It is an unimaginable mutant monster like from one of those James Biscotti books.

Brave, fearless, protector of the estate that I am, I muster all of my courage to shout admonitions to the intruder. AWAY! Oh lawn trimming abomination! AWAY I say!

Look at PeeWee. Not even the common sense of a squash (huh?). He leaps into the trailer! EEEE! Doesn't he know that the trailer is sometimes actually an appendage of the mutant momma tractor thing? He could be whisked away into the fiery pits!

Is it gone?

Sure, I can hear you now all saying, "Mango, that doesn't look scary to me." Yuh, shows what you know. Watch this actual video footage if you don't believe me.

See? Told ya!

And there is other weird stuff going on here too. Totally in the basement for sure. I was unable to investigate due to the fact that access can be gained only via... STAIRS! I have had enough trauma for one day thank you very much, but I did send momma down to check things out. Here is what she saw.

WOOD! And sheets of rocks! Now whatever would one want with sheets of rocks and what are they anyway? I know what sheets are (like the ghastly coverings on my bed) and I know what rocks are (like what is in PeeWee's labrabelly). But sheets of rocks? The mind boggles.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. You only have until September 25th to enter my I Wanna be Like Mango Contest. I have already received many exciting entries celebrating all that is Mango. I have posted links in the sidebar for your reading pleasure.


Molly the Airedale said...

We are so with you, Mango! Neither one of us likes our tractor of doom either only ours in green and not red! They are both evil colors!
Studs and sheetrock? hummmmmm - must be a new bedroom of a different color for the Mango? We can't wait to find out!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

3 doxies said...

Your place is SCARY as all get out!
We's could haves a Halloweenie pawty at your estate.


Peppy Sheppys said...

No one else understands but I have to attack the vacuum before it sucks me into the pits of hell where, I'm sure, your mama is driving that infernal beast. The horror! The horror!


Pee Ess. Your video almost made my ma ape die from laughter so clearly that thing is dangerous.

Pee Pee Ess. Is your mama building a labrajail in the basement?

Mack said...

We have a miniature version of that lawn thingy. And dog I hate it. (But it is kinda funny when dad runs over it's cord and starts cussing)!
Your basement is looking very suspicious - hopefully no more stairs are being planned for the estate!

Rocky Creek Scotties and Rocky Creek Ramblings said...

Piper totally agrees with the Mango - and no matter how much he barks, pees and chases - the stoopid lawn tractor will not leave our estate.

Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

Unknown said...

We love the lawn tractor, its the vacum that scares the pee out of us ;) But your house does look a little scary but just in time for Halloween!!

Fred and Haylie

Lola and also Franklin, too said...

You have a lot of scary stuff going on at the estate, Mango. Do you think it could be haunted or something like that. I hope not, but...maybe you should call Ghost Hunters or whatever that show is called where they never find any ghosts.

lotsa licks, Lola

Golden Woofs! SUGAR said...

Woof! Woof! tractor makes such a loud voice. Mmmm another remodeling ... Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Niamh said...

The things that go on at your estate!!! We don't have a tractor of doom, which makes us very thankful. Hope you recover from the trauma. Watch out for falling rocks.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

Maxmom said...

Hey there Mango...
Since you have no horses, be grateful that she doesn't use a horse-cart! :)

Anonymous said...

Yes Mango. It's the END OF DAYS. You might want to make peace with a certain labradude before it's too late.

I love your Mango moan... it's very soulful.

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

YOu are very brave to be out there with that scary machine,Mango. The guys that do our lawn don't sit on theirs, they actually stand on it - horrors - don't they know the risks?

Sounds like more home renovations about to start there - at least we don't see any purple.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and ciara

Those Elgin Pugs said...

Big Me's!!
It's yous reflection talkin
to yous... hu hu's...

okays... me's waiting for 'da Maximun Overdrive soundtrax to be's playin...

hu hu's... some ac/dc's...shake yous foundations maybe

'dat tracker was scary Big Me's...
Me's be Mastiff woofing at's it too's!!

Speakin of foundations... hu hu's..
see what me's did..
is Big Adventures finally gettings his own house!! snorts!!

Later Twinner!!
Anakin Man

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

I think you need to get your momma into a PROGRAM. Furst the (shudder) Mango Cave Fee ASS Ko.. now... she is trying to ride the Lawn Monster. Yes, my furend, she is in the midst of some sort of EPISODE. Keep your Distance.

Sue said...

Mom always makes sure we're locked in our pens before the tractor starts up. She thinks we might stage a takeover and start running over her plants. We do climb on it when it's asleep though.
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

The Oceanside Animals said...

Mmmm, biscotti ....

Scooter said...

Oh I so agree bout those tractors/lawnmowers etc. Maybe your momma joined tractors ~~Mommas Gone WILD!! I can see the fright in your face WOW!!


Raymond and Busby said...

End of days! We don't blame you Mango. That thing would scare us too.

Ms. ~K said...

We have one of those awful things here too...Rama loves to ride it, kinda like a witch on a broom, very scary!

Black Labs and Lilly said...

Stay brave Mango!!!! I don't like the crazy tractor either.

Tail Wags,
Mister Magoo

Moose said...

Nice job trying to save momma from the tractor! you warned them both so now go save yourself! Here is my theory on the basement activities. The sheet rock will be used to construct a giant ramp so that Mango can get to the basement where DOH will hold her own agilities graduate school. All of the wood is for weave pols, hurdles and teeter toters and the like. I think it will be awesome!

AFSS said...

Mango you are silly I love our tractor. I just wish Daddy would let me drive it. I'll try to enter your contest. ~Fenris

jen said...

You are so brave to try and get the scary tractor to leave!!
We don't like them much either, we can't hear ourselves think:)

brooke said...

oh Mango. It wasnt even moving! I was expecting to see Mango Momma chasing you around the yard in it!
Though, Darwin would be right beside you barking at it either way. Last week she barked at a guy playing the tamborine.

Anonymous said...

I think you just gave me an idea of how Loki is so much like Mango... hahaha!

Marjie said...

I usually come inside when the mutant lawn tractor is on the prowl, unless my boys are there to protect me.

But one day a while back, the girls had been outdoors with me and the guinea pig, and they wandered away. Well, I had to keep my little buddy company. Whilst the girls were gone, the Mutant Jeffrey Lawn Tractor approached. I bravely held my ground, despite Jeffrey Lawn Tractor yelling at me. When he stopped and morphed back into Jeffrey, he discovered that I was protecting my little friend, and brought us both inside for special treats.

Those mutant Lawn Tractors are a menace to society. Bring on Goats to control the Lawn!

Anonymous said...

Well I really like Mels lawn mower, it is green and I sometimes get to ride in a front-pack while Mel is mowing!

As far as the Studs and sheetrock I gots no idea, but you didn't see more purple did you????

woo woos, Tessa

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh Mango you are acting like my Lily. She thinks everything new is a big monster. P has the right idea... Face your fears and jump on that thing. BOL, hysterical!
Benny & Lily

NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

Oh where to start -

Well, I think it is The Walkin Khloset fur The Beastie - Bride O Mango -

Sekhond, I found PeeWee's REAL SheWee here:

Third, I sometimes attempt to protekht my mom when we are walking and I hear one of the grass choppers - I pull her to the other side of the street and lead her home -


Oskar said...

I am not allowed outside when the lawn mower is running. I try to attack it and have been told that my appendages may be at risk. Ha! I could take it if only they would let me at it.

Nubbin wiggles,

Clive said...

Oh Mango, sorry to hear you don't like the lawn mower! But your one is a lot bigger than ours!

Looks like there will be lots more work going on in your house!

take care
Clive and Murray

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Oh Mango, you are just too cute for words getting all afraid of the Mowing Momma Monster! I bet Pee Wee will take care of you!

houndstooth said...

Holy House of Horrors! It's not even Halloween yet and your mama is trying to scare the beejeezus out of you! I wouldn't go down in the basement for all the noms in the world. It's probably some secret dog torture chamber that she's working on down there!


ocmist said...

That looks like a MONSTER version of the nasty sucky machine, and is therefore an enemy of dogdom and must be warned off!

Uh OH... Looks like more re-new-vations are coming your way. Your people sure are forcing a LOT of "CHANGE" on your mentals! The CCC

Two Pitties in the City said...

I have never seen such a scared expression on you before Mango.

the booker man said...

um, i almost didn't read this post cuz i was totally scared by your warning. but mama told me i needed to be a big boy, so i did. that lawn tractor is SCARY SCARY SCARY. and what is going on in your basement?! ahhhhh!

the booker man

Lorenza said...

Yes! You are going to need theraphy after that episode! Sooooo scary!
Aaand... another extreme makeover there?? But... not purple, right??
Kisses and hugs

Scout and Freyja said...

Mango, we do not understand why you have not already conquered that horrible machine and saved your momma from a fate worse than death itself!

WFT Nobby said...

Mango - I feel for you, pal. We only have a teeny weeny little lawn mower and that is quite scary enough thank you very much.
Toodle pip!

tula monstah said...

Hey bubba the big baby- watch out or your momma will sign woo up fur tractor skool!!

Just sayin.

Unknown said...

Sheesh, Mango - now Paul is going on about wanting Hsin-Yi to organise driving a tractor for his NEXT birthday present!

Honey the Great Dane

Kari in Alaska said...

Oh wow you sure look scared!


Sierra Rose said...

Mango!! I don't know how I would react....you are a pro at guarding the estate!! The basement wood and rocks project looks interesting!!!

Hugs and snaggle-tooth kisses,
Sierra Rose

Lucy-Fur, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Oy! That is why Abby and I retreat to the House With Wheels when Uncle Larry or Paid People come to the House Without Wheels to make booming and banging noises. We are not do it yourselfers!

*kissey face*

-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

PeeEss: Mom says she'll have our Wanna Be Mango entry up today.