DWTDS - Week Three - Back to Basics

To say that momma and I are experiencing artistic difference about MY dog dance would be like saying The Mango only slobbers a little. Know what I mean?

Because she is all like, "Oh, Mango, we have to work on your heeling and sitting and get it to be a bit tighter?"

Tighter? I am an ARTIST! The Mango does not march about like some robot dog, the Mango DANCES.

Yuh, here you see me expressing myself during what was supposed to just be boring heeling. Come on, wouldn't you rather see this?

And then I threw in this move that I totally made up myself. Momma says, "Now Mango, you lay still and I will step over you and it will be very exciting."

Hello? The Mango laying about like a 230 pound sack of potatos is NOT exciting.

Now THIS is exciting!

Yuh, she was surprised for sure but said that we could not use that move in my routine because I was too unpredictable.

Listen to the music, woman! The music makes it happen. Predictable! Bah!

Here is a short video of us working on all that boring heeling crap.

Oh and then she hands Master the camera and says, "Please take a photo of us to send to Miss Honey."

I thought she meant her and ME, but NOOOOO, idiot PeeWee had to be there too because he is alleged to be working on a dance as well but near as I can tell he is just working on flinging his labraself around all spastic while momma frets and tries to look graceful.

Uh oh, PeeWee is in the death grip. Hehehe.

This was the best we could do for a family portrait. I was trying to look regal. How'd I do? I think Pea must have spotted a tasty rock. Nom, nom, nom, doofus head.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. There is an update on the foster house blog here. After looking at those photos, I am wondering if Master and the boys are really spending their days eating the dunkin donuts and discussing Red Sox because the Mango does not see much progress. Master assures me much has been done. OK, whatever.

Total WTF

Look, let's face it, momma likes to preload my bloggy and then pretend she is spending actual time with me. As if!

But today, she got totally fooled by blogger. Yup, she was all pre-loading a post for next week and blogger kept publishing it even though the date was like totally in the future for sure.

So if you see something show up in your google reader and then vanish, just ignore it, OK?

Here's a photo from the archives to tide you over.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Dexter Playtime without Mango!

I was just starting my walk today when who should we run in to but my next door neighbor dog, Winnie. Oh boy! But wait, it gets better.

Because momma said, "Let's let Winnie and Dex run around in the yard. Mango is already locked up in the house." Are you serious? Let's go!

I made a little movie that you can watch below or on YouTube here.




She sure is fast. She came from the doggie orphanage last year to live next door and I have long been a big admirer of hers.

You can see that she is part border collie dog and I think she was even trying to herd me a little. Who cares? I was having the time of my life.

After we got all hot, I introduced her to my swimming pool for a cool down.

She was a bit cautious at first seeing as she is swimming pool deprived at her estate.



But before long she had all four feet in and was enjoying a refreshing drink.

I even got her to experiment with full body submersion. Bet her mom squealed with delight when she brought her soaking wet self home.

It is HOT HOT HOT here today. After Winnie went back home I took full advantage of the pool to soak my labraself.

Does it get any better?

Dexter done!

P.S. There is another update on our foster house blog. You can read it here.

Another Dog Dance Progress Report

OK, Momma says we will go to once a week updates on my dog dance (yeah, and PeeWee too), but we worked REALLY HARD last night and so I wanted to show you what we did. Are you ready?

If you can't watch it below, then just click here.

I'm not sure what all that mad jumping about was that she was doing. Phew, I got tired watching.

Did you see idiot PeeWee trying to jump through the hoop?

What a spaz! I listened to my music and I think a hoop jump by my mastiff self would go quite well, but the DOH says, "No, Mango, it is not thematically correct for your routine."

Whatever.

Enjoy the weekend!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. If you can believe it, momma says we are even busier now than before, so she might activate the mark all as read button. Boo hoo.

Getting Ready to DANCE!

Yup, I am working feverishly on my routine for Honey's big dog dance competition. Who knows, maybe even the Pea will try to put one together. I hope lots of my friends will at least give it a go. Just practicing is total funballs.

Visit Honey's blog here to read all the rules and stuff.

And then, watch my movie. The YouTube link is here.

I will tell you that we don't have much time to spend practicing. Maybe like only 10 minutes 3-4 times per week. That's all my mentals can stand. The trick is to make your human do all the work what with selecting music and figuring out moves that you already know. Momma says she might teach me ONE new trick for my big dance number, but that's it. Takes ever so long for us to communicate over what exactly she wants me to do other than bounce around and be handsome.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. I know a lot of you are saying, "Oh Mango, I cannot possibly do a dance." But it does not have to be all fancy pants show off doggie. Honey found this movie of a beginner dance that I think is very nice. Might steal some of those moves myself.

Marathon Mango

Yesterday was the Boston Marathon. Did you watch it? Momma took the day off from work. Her workplace is close to the starting line and they close all the roads totally at like 7:00AM. As if she would EVER get to work before then. No way.

See that little road sign that says Rt. 85 on the right? That is the road she takes to the work place and of course there is no way to navigate the mastiff mobile through all those sweaty bodies.

So I'm thinking, "Hey, cool, a day off. More time for Mango, right?" But nooooo.

She says, "Oh Mango, I am going to go and visit Grandma and Grandpa. You stay here and be a good doggie and play with Dexter."

Yeah, like that is going to happen.

But you know what? I have been working out. A lot. Sometimes momma and I jog around and around in circles on the estate. For maybe like three whole minutes without stopping.

You know where this is going, right? I figured as long as I was abandoned, might as well make the best of it, and see what that whole marathon thing was all about. After all, if a bunch of stupid humans can do it, why not a hale and hearty chap such as myself.

It wasn't easy, but I secured a spot right at the front of the pack and before I knew it, BANG, we were off.

Little did I know that this whole marathon thing involved a lot more running than even I, Mango the athlete, was accustomed to and I quickly found myself falling behind.

Fear not, I am nothing if not resourceful. And when I spotted a lazy human baby all sitting in his stroller I had an idea.

Lickity split that human baby was getting his first walking lesson whilst his momma screeched with delight and I, Mango, was fast moving once again to the front of the pack.

Just a few minutes later, I found myself miraculously at the halfway point.

That being Wellesley College. All those Wellesley gals come out in full force to cheer on the runners and this year was no exception.

I even got a little fortification from a helpful gal and was feeling most invigorated.

Surely the end was near. But, hey, what's this? It appears that the police officers are allowed to participate in the marathon on their motorcycles. Does that seem fair? I ask you.

Well, if it is good enough for our men in blue, it is good enough for the Mango.

Step on it, Jeeves.

Due to an unfortunate miscalculation on my part rounding a corner, I was unseated from my ride. No worries, that motorcycle dude was falling behind anyway.

But the worst was still to come.

Heartbreak hill. And the end for the Mango. Oh, I know, you are thinking, "but Mango, you jog up hills on your walkies to exercise your legs, so no problem." But you would be WRONG.

I could go no further.

Hang on! Check out this gal. Wow! She scooped me up like I was light as a labradork.

I did feel a bit woogy from all the bouncing up and down, but managed to get back at least a small bit of my former vigor.

As we rounded the bend to Cleveland Circle, who should I spot, but my good pals Agatha and Archie. Apparently they had heard that I was racing and they had come out to cheer me on.

Not to disappoint, I thanked the nice lady for the ride (curiously, she had to drop out of the race due to exhaustion) and forged onward under my own now restored steam.

The finish line! It seemed like I had been running for days. What an absurd sport. But now, with the end in sight, I was Mango on Fire!

And... can you believe it? I WON! Yuh, for sure. Didn't you see me on TV?

But you know what? That finish line is all the way in Boston. Far, far, from home. So I opted to take the subway which passes conveniently close to Grandma and Grandpa's house. It was crowded at the station, but I had a whole car to myself in which to stretch out. Can't imagine why. Must be because I am a big celebrity, right?

When I called Momma to pick me up from the train station, she was a little mad and scolded me for being so far away and leaving the Pea home alone. Sheesh. Like she didn't even believe me when I told her about running the marathon and winning. But you do, right?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

POTP Needed for Twinkie

My good pal and former Mango Minster Judge, Twinkie has very bad sickies and is in the hospital. Please send her good vibes. All paws crossed here.

Special Announcement

Gosh, two posts in one day? Oh the madness! But when I posted earlier I forgot to tell you about Honey's way cool awesome dance contest.

That's right! Time to get out your dancing shoes. You can bet I am going to enter.

And listen up... you don't need to be a total super star like Honey to do it either. Just find some music, put some moves together, and have fun. I am already working on my routine and might even post about my practices and whatnot. Pea wants to dance too, but he might be too mental fits to dance to anything but the Spaz Polka.

Read how to enter here!

How We Got Our Names

I wasn't going to do a post today, what with all the stuff that needs to get done, but when I realized that I was almost out of time for Reilly's How Did You Get Your Name contest, I said, let's get to work! You can enter until midnight on Monday, April 18th by following the rules here.

Not to mention, it is a great excuse to post puppy pictures, always a crowd favorite.

But first, I have to show you the photo below. See those pesky turkeys? One is in our flower garden and one is totally right in the street. They are so stupid. They peck at cars and cause traffic jams all over the place.

But back to the topic at hand. Loyal readers know that I am named after the original Mango, a male stripper in possession of such overwhelming powers that all humans immediately fell victim to his charms. Kind of like me, right?

My official name was supposed to be Lord's Hill Everybody Loves Mango, but there were not enough spaces on the AKC form so it had to be shortened to Lord's Hill We All Love Mango.

And who doesn't love me, right.

Check out this rare photo from the archives of my puppy self with Grandpa Angus, Beautiful Raja, and Momma! How could you not love me?

Well, OK, Beautiful Raja did not always love me. Here she is making stern face even though I am doing my puppy best to charm her. I think she finally at least tolerated me. As I said before, no doggie can resist the power of the Mango.

Since we're looking at puppy photos, this is my most favorite. I know there are plenty more, but the DOH has had "scan in old photos" on her to do list like totally forever. Still no progress. Sigh.

As for the Pea, well, when momma and master put in their puppy reservation at the labradork store, they did not know if the puppy would be black or yellow or boy or girl. Their only requirement was that it be a pup that would not be scared of me. As if!

They totally reserved the pup before the momma even let them out of her belly. Wow!

Once all the pups came out, breeder lady said that she had a little black labradude that would be perfect. He was apparently quite bold yet easy going. So now they had to find a name.

Momma wanted to call him Little Papi after Big Papi, David Ortiz on the Boston Red Sox. Not sure why since she isn't much of a baseball fan, but there you go.

But Master put the kibosh on that one.

As luck would have it, it was about the time that the Pea came home that Momma and Master were watching the show Dexter on the DVD. I wasn't convinced that naming my new brother after a serial killer, regardless of how lovable, was a good idea, but of course I didn't get a vote.

So his official AKC name is Nightwinds Dexter in the Dark.

But you know what? He was such a tiny little runt when he came home that I called him PeeWee from the start. Look at the midget.

Not to mention annoying. I guess breeder lady knew what she was talking about because he has always been super sassy towards my large and needing respect self.

He even used me to practice his puppy agilities.

To be honest, he got called PeeWee a lot more than Dexter and eventually that got shortened to Pea which he insists is spelled like the vegetable as opposed to, well, Pee. Hehehe.

I, too, have a new name which is Bubba. Yup. I think that one speaks for itself. When we are at school or the vet or something we get called Mango and Dexter, but at home it is more often Bubba and Pea.

I have gotten used to the little guy and even kind of miss him on daycare days. We don't snuggle or anything, but I do let him touch me sometimes. Still, one does worry about the long term effects of exposure to labracooties.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Guess what? My buddy, Nordork came to my grad skool last week to totally spy on me. Yuh, and he made a movie showing off what a wonderful student I am.

Since momma has been so busy with all her stuff that I haven't posted or even read bloggies in a few days (gasp) I am going to take advantage of Nordork's video skills and share the movie he made for your entertainments. You can watch it on YouTube here.

Part if why momma is super busy is because all of Master's energies are spent at the foster house. Now why him working hard should make her tired is beyond me, but its that old picking up of the slack that wears her out. Whatever. Here's a sneak peak of the progress, but you can read all about it here.

And I am told there will be blogging time this weekend. Well, I should hope so. As if!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Tennis Ball on Tuesday by Dexter

Tennis Ball!

Are there two better words for a human to say? I don't think so. Nothing better than hearing that glorious call to happy fun time. But sometimes it seems to take forever between the words being spoken and actual good times starting.

Just watch this movie and you will see. Uh oh, the movie is too big for our blog! So you need to watch it on YouTube by clicking here.

Don't be alarmed by the squeaking sounds when momma throws the balls. That is the next door neighbor dog. She always wants to join us for tennis ball parties, but that is forbidden due to Captain Hump Alot being such a beast with the ladies.

Being a multi talented athlete, I enjoy mixing things up by combining some agilities with just about any activity.

Does somebody have labraenvy? Look at his face. Must take every ounce of mentals he has to propel his relentlessly huge self through the air and hang on to that ball. I'll give him extra points for difficulty on that one.

Bonus! The estate pool has opened for the season! That means soon the cement pond will open up next door and then watch out!

Dexter done!

P.S. Since momma already posted it all over the internets, I might as well tell you. RH fell on his ass during bitey face and pinched his dangly bits and howled and moaned something awful. Doofus.

Stealth Sunday

Do you like to hide from your humans? I know I do. It is a most pleasurable activity and quite entertaining to be very still and quiet whilst the DOH calls your name. The key is to remain completely hidden until, "Mango come" turns into "Mango cookie!"

Only then can you emerge to earn your reward.

To demonstrate I give you the following two photos. Momma was out photographing the fruit trees.

Little did she know I was most cleverly concealed behind the baby peach tree.

Even when she got closer I could tell that she didn't know I was there. Totally for sure.

You, yourself might have to bigify to detect my mastiffness.

Life doesn't get much better.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. My good buddy, Anakin, the mini-mastiff has his own whole new blog! For sure! I bet you missed him as much as you missed me, so go and say a big howdy by clicking here.

Thursday Movie Matinee

Even during our blogging break, momma is checking this web site frequently.

Ish! Did you see that? She even watched the following movie more than once.

Oh my ears! What is that NOISE they make? And those ridiculous stumpy little legs all squirming and kicking.

I also got some serious flashbacks to before the Pea had learned to respect my large and needing to be top dog self. Look at the little runt all playing with MY toys on his very first day at the estate. As if!

Made me have to search the internets to find a brain cleansing video of some normal pups who eat in a civilized manner and don't make all those weird alien sounds (plus the mastiff momma is smokin' hot).

Just in case you forgot what a real puppy looks like......

Oh can you stand it? I was so, like TOTALLY adorable. I almost wanna SQUEEEE myself just looking at me.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. I didn't want momma cluttering MY blog with stupid foster house stuff, so I made her start a whole new blog for it. But I did agree to let my readers know when she posted there so you can see the first entry by clicking here.

Why I Will be Blogging Even LESS - Many words and ONE picture

Hey, remember when I told you we were getting a foster house? Well, it finally happened yesterday and the upshot for ME is that momma says we will have even LESS time to spend on the internets. I have been watching the whole process unfold and have many words to tell the tale. You can read it if you have time...

A while back momma and master received a piece of paper in the mail that caused great excitement. They said it was something called the Deed to our estate and it meant that they owned it at last. Who knew? All this time somebody called Bank had owned ever decreasing portions of our estate. Gosh, I'm kind of glad I was unaware of that because I would hate to have pooped or peed on something that belonged to somebody else. Er, not really, I do that all the time, but it sounds good when I say it.

Well, shortly there after, during one of the big snows, some dude came to our estate and he looked into every nook and cranny and wrote things down on a big clipboard. I thought he seemed like a nice enough guy. I even let him examine my basket of stuffies.

A couple of days later, Bank called us up and said they would give momma and master a big bag of money. Wow! That sure was nice of them. But then they said that as long as momma and master had the big bag o' cash, they would have to send many dollars of interest (are there boring dollars as well?) to Bank and if they did not give the whole bag back soon enough then that clipboard guy would come back and take over our house and throw us out into the street. That sounded bad to me.

But Master took the bag of cash anyway and he offered to give it to a different guy named Bank and in return Bank would give him a sad little house that nobody wanted to live in. Master said, "Don't worry, Mango, I will make that house all pretty and soon some other people will give me an even bigger bag of cash and I will pay back Bank and even have some dollars left over to buy you lots of stuffies and foodables and maybe even a new bed." Hmmm... that sounds kind of tempting.

Still, the whole thing has caused me a big of heartburn what with all the monies flying about and wringing of hands and mental fits going on around here. Plus I was worried that Master would spend all his time with our new foster house and neglect ME.

Fear not, Master assures me that he will continue to spend his days in the barn building cabinets and moldings and whatnot for our foster home whilst his tool time buddies who have fewer miles on them and a bit more vigor do the heavy lifting.

One of Master's pals is even going to stay at the foster house to keep it company during the rehabilitation and to make sure that no hooligans get it into their heads to pay a visit and scare the hapless little abode.

Along the way, Master has made a new "friend" called Mr. Real Estate Lawyer (as opposed to his partner Mr. Fake Estate Lawyer I presume). I don't think he is much of a friend as he charges Master many dollars just for the pleasure of his company. Worse still, if this Mr. Real Estate even THINKS about our foster house, he sends a bill. That seems wrong.

AND he has Master convinced that he is now a corporation. Huh? How gullible can you get? Master says it is to protect our ass sets in case the house proves to be unadoptable or it hurts somebody. What are ass sets anyway? I am going to do some research because I am not sure Master has any but they do sound like something that would make a nice wedding gift for Prince William, "Oh look, Kate, that charming chap, Mango, from the states has sent us this lovely ass set. Do let's display it prominently at the palace, what?" I look forward to my thank you note.

Real Estate Lawyer asked for even more dollars to check and see if anybody was leaning on the house. "Bah!" says I, "surely we can just drive by in the mastiff mobile to figure that one out." Nope, guess not, because people can lean on a house and be invisible, like hidden in the internets and Lawyer dude found a whole bunch of them who said they would keep leaning until the people who used to live in the house gave THEM bags of money.

Some of those leaners are kind of scary too. Folks like Mr. Infernal Revenues and Ms. Divorce Lawyer. But I do feel sorry for one leaner called Mr. I Came and Fixed Your Burst Pipe in the Middle of the $&*% Winter and You Still Haven't Paid Me Construction Dude.

Are you dizzy yet?

Finally Mr. Real Estate Lawyer made the Leaners go away. It wasn't easy because I think the people that used to live in the foster house spent many dollars they did not have and even after we give them a bag of money for the house they will not have enough left to scare away all of the leaners. That is kind of sad for everybody.

Yesterday it finally happened. Yup, the foster home is now ours to tend to. Which means that Master will be very busy and even when he isn't doing actual work, his mentals and physicals will have fatigue. So no time for him to run errands for us or play tennis ball during the day. Sure, we'll be able to play in the yard and sun bake while he works in the barn, but it isn't the same, is it?

I'm worried that the Pea will resume his rock eating habits so it is up to me to keep an eye out for that. I started doing the annual pruning of the trees and shrubs. I think that was pretty big of me, but Master told me to cut it out. Just trying to help, sheesh.

Momma will be picking up the slack. Don't know what slack is but apparently picking it up is very strenuous because it makes her tired for sure.

All of which leads me to my sad topic which is that we will be most decidedly absent from blog land for a few months. MONTHS! Can you stand it? Oh dear. Lots of mark all as read and few comments and possibly posts from me only maybe once or twice a week (fear not, I already pre-loaded a post for Thursday).

Of course I can't complain, can I? Because Master is super happy about all this and momma is taking me on more walkies to help me with my physical fitness, but I do worry about missing my friends. You all have to promise to let me know if anything really big happens, OK?

While I am not allowed to actually visit the foster house, I will be helping momma post weekly updates and there will be photos coming in a few days to show you what it looks like now so you can keep score at home on the progress.

Big stuff for sure.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

PSA - Help Sunny Find a Home

This lovely gal is looking for a new home. If you want to learn more about her, just check out Miss Kylie's blog here. Sunny lives right here in Master Chew Sits and seems like a great gal.

Good luck, Sunny!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Another Bloggy Break? Come On!

Sometimes our pals just plain don't blog for a long time and I always worry when that happens, so I am here to tell you that now WE won't be blogging for a few weeks even though there is nothing wrong with anybody except that getting ready for the big dance contest has apparently pushed momma over the mental fits edge.

Check it out. Do you see something wrong with this photo? Hello? Momma? Like that is not ME you are all canoodling with there. Why is she wasting Mango time with Nordork?

Nothing for me to do except try to provide my own entertainments with the little black devil dog.

Fool! Gotta get him pinned on the ropes so to speak in order to get a good grip on the slippery pointy headed beast.

Look at his face! Ha! Mango rules! Say it, say it, Mango rules!

Momma PROMISED to try and do periodic updates on my big dance routine, but right now we are experiencing "artistic differences" which is making her kind of grouchy. Sigh.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. From Momma - Please excuse us for a couple of weeks from blog land. There is a whole lot of stuff going on here right now. Nothing bad, but between school for both boys, the foster house project, work, getting our dance routines ready, and general keeping up, just no mentals left for blogging right now.