Sunday, April 3, 2011

Home Decor by Dexter

Check it out, we finally got a dirt mat for the front porch. Now it is REALLY finished, right?

Obviously, Master selected this particular mat. If it had been Momma, it would have said "F%*K OFF"

She was not well socialized as a pup.

Dexter done.


Anonymous said...

I once designed a Corporate Christmas Holiday card for customers whom my company didn't treat very well throughout the year. So the sentiment in the card read: Happy Holidays... (open the card) ... you SOB.

I don't know why. It didn't go over very well. Maybe I wasn't well socialized either.

nancyturtle said...

I have a mat which reads simply "Leave". It's outside the doggy door, but they keep coming in anyway.

Ms. ~K said...

Hey Guys,
Our mom wants to know where she can order a "F%*K OFF" mat! She's a lot like your mom! :)
Licks and sniffs!

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

F%*King believe you told that about your MOM... I'm Lovin' it... butt can't believe it. heheheheehee BaaaWaaaaaaaah

Two French Bulldogs said...

You are suppose to be on the mat wiping your feet, not next to it, BOL. Mom's mat would say that too. BOL
Benny & Lily

Unknown said...

That is TOTALLY what my welcome mat would say too! And there have always been questions about how well socialized I was as a pup too, so don't feel bad! :)

Jen and the BDC

The Boston Lady said...

Dexter, your momma's my kind of people, of course if she knew that she'd probably tell me to get a F*##***** life. Ann

Robin said...


Pippen said...


Our mom wasn't well socialized either! We don't even think she went to obedience school, either!

Sam and Pippen

Kari in Alaska said...

Our neighbors have a mat that says "Stay Away"


♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

BOL - your Momma is too funny, Dexter. We have a plain mat at our front door, it doesn't say anything. We have no door mat at the back door because some pups just can't seem to keep their mouths off of it. No matter what kind she gets, it always gets eaten:(

Happy Sunday.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Amber-Mae said...

BOL! Momma doesn't sound like a very welcoming person, huh?

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Your momma and I must have had the same socialization as pups! When someone asks if they can call, my first instinct is to say "If you'd like to reach me, leave me alone!"

Peppy Sheppys said...

BOL. We like your momma.

Sheps, Otis & Edgrr.

Pei In The Life said...

My Mom has F%*K Off moments too. I just growl.

You Dad chose a nice mat, even if it does say Welcome.


Gus said... could maybe make a fortune marketing that special mat for Mommas and Muzzers. We might even order two.


Marjie said...

My Momma wants the mat your Momma wants. Did they attend the same skools?

I am very glad you got the April Fools Snows and not us. Ryan was sad because they told him he would get at least 4" and have a 2 hour delay for school. Instead we got 4 flakes.


Cowspotdog said...

My Mom likes you new mat - she has been looking for a new one too. We love you picture in the header too - that has to be the smallest saddest snowman :)

Anonymous said...

OMD Mom cannot stop laughing! This is pawsome, thanks.

Mom agrees with everyone specially Gus, your Mom should sell them because we all want one!

woo woos, Tessa

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Hi Dexter I agree with your mum's choice of mat. Maybe she and the Master could alternate depending on how they feel. My personal favourite is "Friends Welcome, Relatives by Appointment". No worries, love Carol.

Lucy-Fur, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Clearly my Mom wasn't socialized, either, because even though we don't have a mat, we have a big gate (ostensibly to get us on the porch) that sends that same 'F*** Off' message to all but the most intrepid. Did I ever tell you about the time (many years ago) when Mom answered her apartment door with a shotgun in her hand? The two Mormon missionaries made a hasty retreat. And Mom SWEARS it was an honest mistake. (Mom here: it was. Really. I had just bought the gun and was checking it out, and just sort of hand it in my hands when I answered the door...)

'Nuff said, I think!

*kissey face*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Alasandra, The Cats and Dogs said...

The welcome mat is very Welcoming.

Clive said...

After the weekend we've just had - we'd be going with your Mom's mat!!

take care
Clive and Murray

Achieve1dream said...

I wasn't very well socialized either so I need one of those mats. :) I do like the one your dad picked out though.

Sue said...

Your Mama and our Mom must have been socialized by the same person. That's a very nice mat, ours doesn't have any words on it. We think it's a compromise.
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

ForPetsSake said...

Bah!! Too funny. Glad to have found you today through Dog Foster Mom's blog. You're quite the pair!
Check us out if you get a chance at:

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Are you sure Lacie Beast didn't pick out that mat? Seems more her style than Mango Master's. Mama would like one that says "If you're not expected, don't bother to knock." She's never seen one, though. Mazel tov on finally finishing the front porch! What's the status on the basement?

Jed & Abby

Unknown said...

BOL! *giggles* at your momma!

What a gorgeous mat!

houndstooth said...

Tee hee! I guess all our humans have their weaknesses!


Lola and also Franklin, too said...

That's a very pretty mat. Our doesn't say Welcome, although it would if I had my way. Everyone's welcome as far as I'm concerned, but I really think I, Lola, am the best socialized member of the family. My human brother's pretty good, too. The rest, not so much. For a couple of years we had one that said, "Come back with a warrant". That was Alpha Mom's choice. Now we have one that says "Wipe your paws". Not great, but at least not sociopathic.

TwoSpecialWires said...

Dexter. Are you in a bad mood, or something? You kind of have a deer in the headlights look on your face. Is it 'cause of what your momma said as you were pawing out this post? (We're stunned ... not really.)

Jake and Fergs (giggling)

Lorenza said...

The same words my mom would use! Ooops!
Happy Sunday!
Kisses and hugs

The Heartbeats said...

My mamma would choose that mat too! what's up with all our moms? mean women!


Niamh said...

You will still get visitors because your face is so welcoming Dexter!

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

KB said...

You are cracking me up again Dexter. I want one of your mom's mats!

brooke said...

ahahhahaha! Love this!

Golden Samantha said...

Yeah - we guess it all must be finished now... but not until we see your Mamma's mat there heheh!
Sammie and Avalon

NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

It's no wonder she loves The RH more than The Pea!


the booker man said...

heeheehee! dexter, i like the welcome mat that your master picked out, but my mama totally has some moments where she'd want the same mat as your mama!

the booker man

tula monstah said...

Hey PEA.. just pee the word NOT under Welcome. there ya go!


WFT Nobby said...

We think that it is a good thing that Master selected the mat.
Toodle pip!

Anonymous said...

BOL! Well maybe you could have two. One with Momma's message and one with Dad's. You could bet on how long they stood in front of the door and pondered whether to knock or not ;)


jen said...

Nice mat, but I like Mom's idea!!!

Randi said...

Ah hahahahahahaha!

Ok Dexter! Maybe you need to bring your mama to a few pup manners classes...socialization is very important!

My mom said she'd like one of those mats too when ever you find them.

You are looking as adorable as ever my little cublet - Spring agrees with you - puts a spring in your already springy labra leggies!

Love & Licks,
Your Cougar,

Amber DaWeenie said...

Now da two of you should have got dat ransom mat dat says "If you Want to see These People Again, Leave a 5-Pound Steak at the Door....Signed "The Dog". Yep, dat'll work!

doyle and mollie said...

momma laughed so hard when she saw your posty she thinks a f*c* off mat is a great idea... thank you for my birthday wishes stoopid momma hasnt downloaded the proof yet she promises me she'll help me post about it tomorrow oh yeah, right! loves and licks xxxx

Kitty+Coco said...

Bahaha! Maybe your mom and my mom are long lost sisters or something. Mom's would say "Don't even think about knocking". Here's a funny for you: our neighbor just put out a new skull and crossbones doormat, with a frilly "Happy Easter" sign above it. Just doesn't match does it?

Kitty and Coco

Tucker said...

BOL -- My auntie had a mat that said "Beware of sleeping watch dog - don't trip over her"

woof - Tucker

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...


What a totally fabbers idea for a Welcome Mat!!


Little Lacie Teacakes XXOO

Buy Aion Account said...

I couldn't believe that your mom would prefer to choose the other message. Oh well the picture is kind of ironic, there's the "Welcome" note but the scary dog is there too.

Buy Aion Account

Martine said...

This is a hilarious post.