Yesterday was the Boston Marathon. Did you watch it? Momma took the day off from work. Her workplace is close to the starting line and they close all the roads totally at like 7:00AM. As if she would EVER get to work before then. No way.
See that little road sign that says Rt. 85 on the right? That is the road she takes to the work place and of course there is no way to navigate the mastiff mobile through all those sweaty bodies.
So I'm thinking, "Hey, cool, a day off. More time for Mango, right?" But nooooo.
She says, "Oh Mango, I am going to go and visit Grandma and Grandpa. You stay here and be a good doggie and play with Dexter."
Yeah, like that is going to happen.
But you know what? I have been working out. A lot. Sometimes momma and I jog around and around in circles on the estate. For maybe like three whole minutes without stopping.
You know where this is going, right? I figured as long as I was abandoned, might as well make the best of it, and see what that whole marathon thing was all about. After all, if a bunch of stupid humans can do it, why not a hale and hearty chap such as myself.
It wasn't easy, but I secured a spot right at the front of the pack and before I knew it, BANG, we were off.
Little did I know that this whole marathon thing involved a lot more running than even I, Mango the athlete, was accustomed to and I quickly found myself falling behind.
Fear not, I am nothing if not resourceful. And when I spotted a lazy human baby all sitting in his stroller I had an idea.
Lickity split that human baby was getting his first walking lesson whilst his momma screeched with delight and I, Mango, was fast moving once again to the front of the pack.
Just a few minutes later, I found myself miraculously at the halfway point.
That being Wellesley College. All those Wellesley gals come out in full force to cheer on the runners and this year was no exception.
I even got a little fortification from a helpful gal and was feeling most invigorated.
Surely the end was near. But, hey, what's this? It appears that the police officers are allowed to participate in the marathon on their motorcycles. Does that seem fair? I ask you.
Well, if it is good enough for our men in blue, it is good enough for the Mango.
Step on it, Jeeves.
Due to an unfortunate miscalculation on my part rounding a corner, I was unseated from my ride. No worries, that motorcycle dude was falling behind anyway.
But the worst was still to come.
Heartbreak hill. And the end for the Mango. Oh, I know, you are thinking, "but Mango, you jog up hills on your walkies to exercise your legs, so no problem." But you would be WRONG.
I could go no further.
Hang on! Check out this gal. Wow! She scooped me up like I was light as a labradork.
I did feel a bit woogy from all the bouncing up and down, but managed to get back at least a small bit of my former vigor.
As we rounded the bend to Cleveland Circle, who should I spot, but my good pals Agatha and Archie. Apparently they had heard that I was racing and they had come out to cheer me on.
Not to disappoint, I thanked the nice lady for the ride (curiously, she had to drop out of the race due to exhaustion) and forged onward under my own now restored steam.
The finish line! It seemed like I had been running for days. What an absurd sport. But now, with the end in sight, I was Mango on Fire!
And... can you believe it? I WON! Yuh, for sure. Didn't you see me on TV?
But you know what? That finish line is all the way in Boston. Far, far, from home. So I opted to take the subway which passes conveniently close to Grandma and Grandpa's house. It was crowded at the station, but I had a whole car to myself in which to stretch out. Can't imagine why. Must be because I am a big celebrity, right?
When I called Momma to pick me up from the train station, she was a little mad and scolded me for being so far away and leaving the Pea home alone. Sheesh. Like she didn't even believe me when I told her about running the marathon and winning. But you do, right?
Mango Man! Oh yeah!