Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Marathon Mango

Yesterday was the Boston Marathon. Did you watch it? Momma took the day off from work. Her workplace is close to the starting line and they close all the roads totally at like 7:00AM. As if she would EVER get to work before then. No way.

See that little road sign that says Rt. 85 on the right? That is the road she takes to the work place and of course there is no way to navigate the mastiff mobile through all those sweaty bodies.

So I'm thinking, "Hey, cool, a day off. More time for Mango, right?" But nooooo.

She says, "Oh Mango, I am going to go and visit Grandma and Grandpa. You stay here and be a good doggie and play with Dexter."

Yeah, like that is going to happen.

But you know what? I have been working out. A lot. Sometimes momma and I jog around and around in circles on the estate. For maybe like three whole minutes without stopping.

You know where this is going, right? I figured as long as I was abandoned, might as well make the best of it, and see what that whole marathon thing was all about. After all, if a bunch of stupid humans can do it, why not a hale and hearty chap such as myself.

It wasn't easy, but I secured a spot right at the front of the pack and before I knew it, BANG, we were off.

Little did I know that this whole marathon thing involved a lot more running than even I, Mango the athlete, was accustomed to and I quickly found myself falling behind.

Fear not, I am nothing if not resourceful. And when I spotted a lazy human baby all sitting in his stroller I had an idea.

Lickity split that human baby was getting his first walking lesson whilst his momma screeched with delight and I, Mango, was fast moving once again to the front of the pack.

Just a few minutes later, I found myself miraculously at the halfway point.

That being Wellesley College. All those Wellesley gals come out in full force to cheer on the runners and this year was no exception.

I even got a little fortification from a helpful gal and was feeling most invigorated.

Surely the end was near. But, hey, what's this? It appears that the police officers are allowed to participate in the marathon on their motorcycles. Does that seem fair? I ask you.

Well, if it is good enough for our men in blue, it is good enough for the Mango.

Step on it, Jeeves.

Due to an unfortunate miscalculation on my part rounding a corner, I was unseated from my ride. No worries, that motorcycle dude was falling behind anyway.

But the worst was still to come.

Heartbreak hill. And the end for the Mango. Oh, I know, you are thinking, "but Mango, you jog up hills on your walkies to exercise your legs, so no problem." But you would be WRONG.

I could go no further.

Hang on! Check out this gal. Wow! She scooped me up like I was light as a labradork.

I did feel a bit woogy from all the bouncing up and down, but managed to get back at least a small bit of my former vigor.

As we rounded the bend to Cleveland Circle, who should I spot, but my good pals Agatha and Archie. Apparently they had heard that I was racing and they had come out to cheer me on.

Not to disappoint, I thanked the nice lady for the ride (curiously, she had to drop out of the race due to exhaustion) and forged onward under my own now restored steam.

The finish line! It seemed like I had been running for days. What an absurd sport. But now, with the end in sight, I was Mango on Fire!

And... can you believe it? I WON! Yuh, for sure. Didn't you see me on TV?

But you know what? That finish line is all the way in Boston. Far, far, from home. So I opted to take the subway which passes conveniently close to Grandma and Grandpa's house. It was crowded at the station, but I had a whole car to myself in which to stretch out. Can't imagine why. Must be because I am a big celebrity, right?

When I called Momma to pick me up from the train station, she was a little mad and scolded me for being so far away and leaving the Pea home alone. Sheesh. Like she didn't even believe me when I told her about running the marathon and winning. But you do, right?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!


Anonymous said...

did you gas up with boston beans before your 'thon? geesh, i was exhausted just reading about it!

it's so thoughtful of you to assist small children with learning to walk. your generosity is seriously overlooked. there should be a statue of you in boston...

Amber-Mae said...

BOL! What a great, funny post. And what an awesome race! Those people were so nice to help you out when you could no longer keep up with everyone. Congratulations on your win! What prize did you get?

Molly the Airedale said...

We knew you would win, Mango! We can't wait to watch the morning news to hear all of the applause at the finish line!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Oh Mango, Believe you? Why wouldn't we? You have pictures to prove it and with a physique like yours, I had no doubt you would win. Congratulations champ. No worries, love Carol.

Rocky Creek Scotties and Rocky Creek Ramblings said...

Of course we believe you - who could fabricate such an outlandish story? hehehe - only "the Mango".

Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh, Ruairi and The Sweet Babes

Amber DaWeenie said...

One a PAWsome day you had....and one for da history books. I felt like I was right dere wit you, furend. GO MANGO GO!

Cowspotdog said...

Yeah for the Mango - all hail the Mango!!! The mighty one did so awesome in the race and what ingenuity to reach the finish line ! Go Mango Go Mango - the Olympics are next !

PS tell the Mom her cards were posted yesterday and are on their way.

Pei In The Life said...

Pawsome job Mango!

Don't know why your Mom wouldn't believe you, you have pictures and everything.


Gus said...

That was an exciting day! We bet that your Mama thinks twice before she goes off and leaves you alone again! Good to see that Aggie and Arch were having a great time. Way to go Mango!


Pippen said...

Congratulations on winning the marathon! That was most awesome and awe inspiring! Maybe we'll try one too but first we're gonna need a nap.

Sam and Pippen

tula monstah said...

hey a cool$150k prize monie = lots of kibble! i was abandoned too so FAD and FAB AND NORDORK could cheer on the runners. they saw a gorilla running- go figure why not a mastiff!

are woo getting your bath today too?


NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

I'm glad I stay just far enough out of your photos so no one khould figure out what was MOTORvating woo!

Behold the Powers of The Fluffy Tail!

PeeEssWoo:Running is SOOOOO ovah rated!

Michelle said...

I think I just peed my pants laughing!! This was too funny. Looks like Mango had a great time in the race...maybe next year he'll have his own fan club there.

Ms. ~K said...

We thought we saw you on the news!!
Hooray for Mango!

Cyndi and Stumpy said...

This is not the race they showed on the news in Dirtville. Clearly, someone is jealous of your abilities!

I expect the big companies will be knocking down your door, wanting you to do some advertissing for them. Stumpy would like to manage your career!

(omd! this post is one for the books! Absolutely hysterical! thanks for the early morning laughs!)

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

Mango, can you believe it? We saw Your Hugeness on the front page of our KC Star sports page - they had opened a hydrant to quench your thirst after all that exertion. Congrats on the big win.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Two French Bulldogs said...

Awesome Mango, congratulations. We thought that was you running, BOL
Benny & Lily

Corbin said...

Definitely saw you on the TV! They did a special on you here in Albany with some good footage of your race!

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

When is Momma ever going to learn??? You are a hero of EPIC proportions! Congrats Mango!!!!

rottrover said...

Mango. Dude. We're exhausted just reading about your adventure. We're gonna take a nap. Tell your Mamma that she's Relentlessly Humorous!

-Gizmo, Bart and Ruby

Jack & Moo said...

Woo-hoo! You da Man(go)!

jack & moo

Anakin Man said...

Big Me's-

'dat was a big day you had! Me totally thought me saw you on 'da news-
at first me did double takes 'cuz me like- how 'dey get my mug shot from '07 (long stories) hu hu's

Me totally agrees 'dat 'dose little humans can walk-

Me wonders if 'dem runners were running from big adventures-
maybe him be all doing sometings like moonin' dems

Me Momma's all up in me business readin' 'dis posty and laughin' so hard-
(what's her problem)

You better not get in troubles for 'dis-

If so me's bail yous out- hu hu's

yous slightly smaller (not by much)self-
Anakin Man

Lois Lane/Laney said...

Way to go, Mango!
I knew you could do it! BOL!

brooke said...

Good job Mango!

Marjie said...

I totally saw the whole race recapped on Snoozwatch 16 at 11 last night. But they didn't identify you as Mango, just as Lord Hill. So everyone here totally thinks you are Royalty or something. Tell Momma that next year you'll take the Pea with you, and she'll calm down.


Oskar said...

Done in true Mango style! Bravo!

Nubbin wiggles,

Unknown said...

Oh God, Mango - I'm laughing so hard here, I think I'm going to regurgitate my breakast! :-)

Way to show them we giant doggies can do anything, huh?! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

Asta said...

I have nevew enjoyed the excitement of a mawathon this much.
I had faif in you and knewyou would win. you awe evew wesouwceful and this again pwooves youw mentals awe amazing
smoochie kisses

Cole said...

Ha! My office is next to the Riverside T station. :-) I thought I saw you last night getting picked up... :-)

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Oh, that pic of Ags and Archie hanging over the fence put Mumsie into gales of laughter...do you remember when PL 2 went to wave Alett on and go so excited that all she did was video her own sneakers? I don't think we've ever had sneaker videoing or Mastiffs getting carried her in da Burgh 'thon....I've never considered entering. I might have to use deodorant...just not my style. Now tomorrow Fecal Mouth and I are going for our dentals. I want really white veneers placed...Scruffy wants bigger fangs. Stan's not getting his done but he called Dr. Mary and asked her to pull all our teeth. Big wimmpy dale...sheesch.

Do you have a date for the royal wedding? Huh? I don't seem to have an escort, but if you're taken I could move on in my black book. Hootie might go with me???

And yes, my knickers are purple.

They're darling.



houndstooth said...

I think watching you in the marathon would make it infinitely more exciting than just watching humans run it! If I'd known, I'd have come to watch you, too!


Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

We are so impressed, Mango! Not only did you display outstanding athletic ability, but great cunning and super-fast thinking on your paws. And look how well you did surrounded by a huge crowd of strangers, with absolutely no growling or biting incidents. We are so proud! You did, of course, run in honor of Richie and wearing a special token for Twinkie? You're our champion!

Jed & Abby

Kapitein Haakje said...

wooow this was funny ^^

and WE ARE BACK in the blogworld Pall ^^

El'bow & Hauwii

Anonymous said...

Holey Spamole! Mango you are one massive athlete dude! And very resourceful too. I almost choked on my own drool when you booted the baby from his stroller BOL!

Great 'run' my furiend ;)

Laughin my tail off,

Sue said...

Gee, Mango, we would have run with you if we'd only known your plans. Next year for sure.
Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

Kari in Alaska said...

We KNEW it was you we saw!


violett said...

I hope, CNC reported over it. I sit before the television and want to see to mean friend Mango with the Bosten Maraton. Of honor that you have won. Something else I would not have expected from you
Lots of love

Tucker said...

Wow you won? I wonder if you are going to get a sponsorship now?

woof- Tucker

Anonymous said...

Hi Mango,

We thought we would come and say how fantastic your video was on Honey's blog for DWTDS! :D

You did a fantastic job at winning that marathon - we completely agree that you must take any means possible to win the race ;)

Licks and lots of slobber,
Lexi and Jasper the Danes

Cinnamon and Mint said...

Wow, what an adventure you had!!

Anonymous said...

Wow you were tough to go all that way! Those are skinny hoomans. I couldn't have done it cause I've been sick. But i don't like all those hoomans in one place anyway! Shudders!

KB said...

Choking on my coffee... Too funny!

I heard that the winner ran the fastest marathon ever. But, the news did NOT mention that it was YOU Mango! How could they leave out such an important part?

Your motorcycle ride reminded me of the scandal years ago when the supposed women's winner had actually taken the T part of the way! Do you remember that? Hysterical...

Clive said...

Wow, that was one fun Boston marathon! Well done Mango!!

Clive has a friend staying with us this week - a black lab called Astral!! It's been an interesting few days so far!!!

take care
Clive and Murray

Ellen Whyte said...

Running for charity? You're the best!

Unknown said...

OMD! They say laughter cures everything. BOL!
Thank you for leaving me all sorts of encouraging comments while I had the sickies. My mommy is most grateful too. She really thought she was going to lose me this time, but I'm not going anywhere. Y'all should know better. I'm a tough lil' furiend.
Thank you again, love

Anonymous said...

YEAH Mango the Winning Marathon Man!!!!!!!


I didn't know that the subways in Boston were Green. With all that tootin you could have gone all the way to California! BOL

Way to Go!

woo woos, Tessa

MJ's doghouse said...

wow mango...you are my super duper hero...good going eh...way to pass teh canadian...gooooooooooooooo mango....

Khady Lynn said...

Highly impressive Mango! Maybe you should start training for the Iditarod next so you can run with some REAL athletes!

Khady Lynn

the booker man said...


nice win, dude!! thank goodnesses that miss leslie lady was there at your most desperate time of needin'! heehee.

the booker man

Road Dog Tales said...

Well, why WOULDN'T she believe you??? You have the pics to PROVE it! Humans can be so suspicious!

Congrats on your win!

The Road Dogs

ForPetsSake said...

Of course I believe you, Mango. Mom should be throwing you a party, not scolding you!