Monday, January 30, 2012

Tennis Ball Liberation!

Before I start, I feel compelled to draw your attention to a somewhat hysterical attempt on the part of the Beastie to besmirch not just my good name, but my entire breed. You can read it here.

While it is tempting to enter into the fray with the hysterical little so and so, my momma always counsels me, "Dexter, when you fight with a pig you both get dirty, but the pig likes it."

So, dear readers, I leave it to you to form you own opinions after reading said post.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

The last week has been torture for yours truly as I have been denied tennis ball action and momma's walking skills are just not up to snuff for providing the exercise required by an active chap such as myself.

It's that pesky dew claw. Contrary to what some might believe, us doggies actually use our dew claws quite a bit. Not just to help us hold nommy bones, but also to grip and provide stability during funballs activities like agility or tennis ball.

In fact according to Mango's PT doctor, agility dogs who have their dew claws removed suffer more ankle injuries than dogs who remain whole.

So, it was not without good cause that momma feared I would re-open my broken claw were I to run and jump and dart about after the treasured yellow orb.

But enough is enough and even I, sedate and level headed labradog, can succumb to cabin fever and mental fits when deprived of activity for too long.

Thus, yesterday, I convinced the lazy witch to have a go and let's just see if I was tennis ball ready. Now, action is best captured in moving picture format, so I give you my tennis ball liberation movie here or below (try to ignore the typo in the first title page of the movie - good help is hard to find).

Well, you can imagine why I am smiling (note full set of teeth on display, Beastie).

Dexter done!

P.S. From Mango Momma - if you watched the movie you saw Mango bouncing about after the tennis ball. You can see that he is still not using his back end properly, but there is a huge improvement in his activity and comfort level since starting the underwater treadmill. He is up to 12 minutes now and goes once per week. Curiously, he is getting less and less interested in walks off the property and for the past couple of weeks has been very sluggish and balky but perks right up when we get home. So for now I am focusing on yard walks and at home PT exercises (along with tennis ball now and then). He still falls down about once a week, but recovers more quickly so I think he is stronger and more limber. His weight is down to 204 which is the lightest he has been since a teenager.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Dexter the Wonder Dog - On Stuff Left About

Ever take a quick tour of your estate after your humans have retired for the evening and set your mind to wondering about the array of "stuff" that is laying about?

Take this, for example...

Here is but a small sample of our dog walking gear. Frankly, I think a simple leash is sufficient, but apparently an endless assortment of dorky hats, gloves, mittens, and reflective gear is required.

Now Momma claims that all this stuff is out to dry off after some rather uncomfortably wet walkies, but yours truly knows better. She is just too lazy to put things in their proper places.

Note to momma - if you are out walking me in the rain and suddenly decide that you need to put your hood on - don't! Foolish woman. You should have heard her squeal when all that cold wet water she had collected in said hood rushed down her backsides.

The humans are a simple minded lot who resort to notes left hither and yon to remind them of tasks which need to be performed.

Not sure the intent of this one. I have heard complaints that I am overly enthusiastic during training exercises. Of course it is all too obvious that were the lazy witch to walk me more frequently and with just a tad more vigor, I would be calm as a cucumber.

This one has me confounded. I understand the need for a respirator (spell much?) as the Master is currently engaged in paint spraying at the project house.

However, what is the meaning of "horses?"

How about this one? A reminder to check our P.O. box (which due to her persistent laziness and always "running late" - although if she ever actually "ran" I don't think late would be in the picture - can sometimes go unattended for weeks).

Once a note has been posted long enough to collect dust, it usually gets the ominous "or else" added. Not sure what that threat entails and its effectiveness is questionable.

Look at this! Momma's comfy chair table. Yes, friends, those are holiday cards. Which means they have been there without motion for almost a month. And isn't it about time to retire the rather unsightly Santa mug for the season?

Then of course there is this....

Quick! A photo of my labraself to cleanse your viewing pallet.

Dexter done!

P.S. I am beside my labraself with frustration over my broken dew claw. It seems that the rubber bootie was not up to a rough and tumble chap like me and it broke after just two days. The replacement bootie that the Master purchased was too big. So now I am on a no tennis ball and no daycare regime having demonstrated that vigorous tennis ball action results in, well, blood. Momma has mentioned something about a sock and duct tape. Sigh.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Black Dog in Snow

Here is is the middle of January and only now did we get our first snowfall (one discounts the freak storm of October which was rather destructive but soon melted).

As a special treat, yours truly was invited to enjoy a nice walk in the woods.

I am not so deluded as to miss the fact that no small part of the appeal of a walk in the woods for momma is that she does not have to pick up my poop.

But that makes no matter to me. Whatever it takes, right?

Speaking of that October snow storm, the log that fell across our walking trail back then remains and affords a wonderful opportunity for some labragility.

I rather like to imagine that I am on a great adventure through wild and uncharted territory.

Almost like K and R, right?

During my evening perambulations I spotted this festive display and even though it was a bit off our normal route, I insisted we get close enough for a good look.

Now there's a house that enjoys the holidays!

How do you like my green bootie?

There is a story behind that. After our morning walk, I was helping momma clear the walkways when all of a sudden she shrieks "Dexter! You're bleeding!" Mind you, I had no idea what the commotion was about as I was perfectly happy and having a grand time.

That is, until, she started poking and prodding me and then OUCH! Apparently I had broken a nail. Fear not, we stopped by the vet for some magic powder and they threw in the cool green bootie as a bonus to keep me from getting snow and ick in my boo boo.

The bootie doesn't slow me down one bit. If you must know, I think it coordinates with my reflective jacket very nicely.

Dexter done!

Monday, January 16, 2012

LabraMAD on Monday

Who doesn't love agility, right? I, for one, consider it a grand form of exercise, not just for yours truly, but it also gets momma moving at high speeds even if it is only for short periods of time.

That said, my agility equipment is of the finest competition grade quality money can buy. I believe that the entire experience is enhanced by being able to imagine oneself in the ring, crowds cheering.

So, imagine my dismay to find that my jump posts had been vandalized!

Do you see that? The purple and yellow settings almost obliterated!

It didn't take long for me to determine the culprit as one could hear momma's shrieks of horror during poop patrol "Oh, Mango! What is this big chunk of purple plastic in your poo?"

While some of you will be disappointed, I suspect that most of you will be relieved that I did successfully dissuade her from photographing the evidence for your viewing pleasure.

Now, "why" is the question of moment.

One can only assume that the miscreant was experiencing a fit of envy over my superior agility skills.

Fear not, dear readers, those purple and yellow settings are for light weights.

I, Dexter, routinely engage on the blue setting.

Rest assured that I will be keeping a close watch on my agility equipment henceforth.

Perhaps I will wrap it in lettuce when not in use.

Dexter done!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Dexter the Wonder Dog - On the Topic of Lettuce

When queried regarding advice from her doctor on the topic of good living, momma can be heard to say, "Well, Dexter, she told me to eat more healthy food."

Now, I am filled with envy over these statements as any sentence with both the words "more" and "food" in it is certainly a signal for rejoicing.

But it appears there is a caveat. Yes, dear readers, the healthy food list includes a staple that strikes fear into my dear momma's heart.... salad! Because, as she has frequently explained to me, salads are comprised mostly of lettuce and she has declared said ingredient to be a non food item.

Interesting. Inquisitive chap that I am, it got me to wondering... is lettuce food? And so I requested an experiment wherein yours truly would be offered an array of healthy vegetables, including this mysterious substance known as lettuce to test the culinary viability of each item.

One might characterize my eating habits as indiscriminate. I prefer to call myself opportunistic.

The results were captured in an educational movie you can watch here or below.

Let's recap, shall we?

I, Dexter, was offered broccoli, carrot, green bean, and lettuce.

My first impulse was to tag the lettuce with my foot, marking it as a special treat to save for last whilst savoring the green bean.

And the broccoli...

Momma went so far as to rig the experiment by offering me the lettuce and proclaiming, "It's food! Eat it!"

Oh nasty! Yuck! I shredded that piece of green cardboard and did my best to grind it into the carpet (which appears to need a run over with the vacuum, lazy witch).

Nope, not happening. You can't fool me twice.

Lettuce - food or sick joke? I hereby declare lettuce to be a non-food item. This should no doubt put to ease many humans who have struggled to choke down said abomination.

Now I am going outside to cleanse my pallet with some nommy rocks.

Dexter done!

P.S. I think blogger must have had a software glitch yesterday as several alert readers reported problems posting comments. I hope that things have been reset by now.

Monday, January 9, 2012

It's My Birthday (and nobody cares)

My friends, it is with great disappointment that I am about to tell you of a horrific injustice, a terrible deception, a tale of unbelievable neglect.

For, it is, indeed my fourth birthday today. But, sadly for yours truly, it is a day marked by a distinct absence of Dexter focused activities or celebrations.

To make matters worse, I was able to intercept this false post that momma created weeks ago in an attempt to fool my loyal readers into thinking that she actually showered me with love and affection on this, my special day.

Fortunately, with her mentals consumed by stupid Mango Minster, I was able to annotate said post to present you with the true condition of my sorry existence.

I have left momma's pathetic blue italicized words as a warning to my fellow doggie bloggers that this could happen to you, too.

Today is Dexter's birthday and that means it is all about HIM! That's right.

Happy four years old to you, my little labradude!

We started the day with a nice long walk to the village green.

Any guesses as to when that photo was actually taken? Try LAST YEAR! I am not dignifying her by actually looking at the flashy. I refuse to be part of her charade. And while a stroll down to the village green is pleasant enough, the 1.5 mile round trip hardly qualifies as long in my book.

When we got home, a new stuffie, just for Dexter!

She did NOT buy that stuffie for me. It was a gift from daycare. A gift with some holiday NOT my birthday in mind. Now, I admit to being flattered when I received my modest package, but my feelings were crushed when I saw that the same packages were being handed out with abandon to all of the daycare doggies, even that pack of rough trade golden thugs.

Oh, and the reason that I am actually enjoying stuffed Santa? Well, on the day these pictures were taken, the Relentlessly Cry Baby Momma's Dog was at the beauty parlor. You can be certain that once Mr. Fun Police returned home it was "goodbye Dexter's toy."

And make no mistake, momma did NOT stay home with her "favorite" dog, nor did she even favor me with a fun filled day with my daycare pals. No, once again I was forced to provide my own entertainment, comprised mainly of trying to find a water bowl with slobber free water and attempting to stake out the premium sun baking spots.

Followed by a nice chewie.

I was able to take advantage of the Torpid Beast's absence (two weeks ago) to enjoy a chewie on his slobbery bed. IN YOUR FACE! Are you with me? But the chewie actually came from a holiday gift bag brought over by Norwood's mom.

And some total funballs action, complete with tasty noms, just for Dexter!

Once again, a gift from Norwood's mom and one that I found myself highly suspicious of. Is the photo artwork intended to convey that it is full of treats tailored to labradogs or perhaps to indicate that they are made from labradogs?

Well, I never did find out as the contents were emptied into Mr. Underwater Walker during his physical therapies.

Action? Well, if you call having to do a sit / stay while other absurdly large dogs bounce around performing "tricks" then I suppose that would qualify.

All in all a wonderful day for the best little labradog in the whole world!


And there you have it. Just another day in the life of being designated as "the little back up dog."

Dexter done!

P.S. Momma says I need an attitude adjustment. I'm just calling it like I see it, that's all.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Farewell Little Cyber Pug

Our little pug friend from Norway, Bajas, made his final journey today. He was a super little adventure pug and we will miss him with all our hearts.
You can visit his family here.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Important Reminder!

I didn't want to post today. Why? Because momma told me I HAD to. Yes, friends, the stingy witch is at it again. Trying to dictate my prose, to put words between my black leathery lips, to give you the impression that what I am about to say is actually a thought that just popped into my labrabrain. But here goes....

Reminder that the Mango Minster blog is updated with exciting action and adventures on a regular basis, so don't forget to check in often!

There! I said it! Satisfied? I feel like such a tool.

Here is a photo of me in my monkey costume.

It's old, it isn't flattering, and, frankly, I don't care.

Dexter done!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


Dear friends and loyal readers, yours truly, Dexter the labradude here broadcasting from MY official blog (at least for the duration of Mango Minster 2012).

That's right, no more photos of Mr. Droopy Face trying to look like he's having an actual thought, no more maligning the proud breed that is labrador, and, above all, no more bad grammar or misspelling. Well, perhaps some grammatical liberties for dramatic effect, but that's as far as I will go.

Sadly, it is beyond my control as to whether or not my momma will take full advantage of this break from the Relentlessly Torpid to take ample photos of me for new postings.

I decided to do a preemptive strike by recycling some old pictures. Sure, you have seen these before, but one must make one's mark so to speak.

So, for your viewing pleasure, here is a compilation of stunning photos of the one and only DEXTER!

I start with my baby pictures. Always a crowd pleaser, right?

Note that while momma is busy compiling more and more movies of the Relentlessly Dour actually moving (wow), she can often not even be bothered to adjust the colors on my photos. Subsequently, I appear as a faceless black blob.

However, I must say that even in substandard lighting I still look quite adorable.

Now, I will share with you that sometimes the stingy witch forgets herself and proclaims me to be "the cutest lab ever." Absolutely, 100 percent correct.

Make no mistake. I have completely mastered the labralook of sorrow. Designed to melt any human heart (even that of a cold, mastiff obsessed Elmer Fudd hat wearing doofus).

You see this face? When I point it at momma she is HELPLESS! I often get noms just for looking cute. Seriously. In fact, I am certain that some of your humans are even now putting YOUR noms into shipping cartons headed to my estate. That's how powerful my look of over the top cuteness is. Coming at you right through the Internet! PA-ZAM!

Dexter done!

Sunday, January 1, 2012


That's right!

Time for Mango Minster 2012!

All the excitement!
All the drama!
All the dogs!
(and cats and horses and other furries too).

Click here and to get started and don't forget to add the official Mango Minster blog to your google reader. You only have until February 5th to get your entries in (which seems like a long time now, but it goes by quickly).

Let's make our FOURTH annual show the best ever!

As usual, I will be turning this blog over to the Pea for the duration.
Have mercy!

Oh, by the way, check out this exciting action movie from a recent walkie! I am like totally a super athlete. You might need to watch it twice because I am a blur!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Our commenting will be virtually non-existant until after the show. Sorry, but busy brain and all that. The Mango has sooooo much work to do to make sure everything runs smoothly.