Short Blogging Break

The Mango and Pea will be taking a short blogging break due to a little human stuff going on at the estate.

Here are a couple of videos momma took this morning of Mr. Turkey looking for love in our yard.

In this movie he is chasing some hot little pea hen. Go get 'em stud!

Then he somehow got totally into our yard. Oh I wanted to chase him wicked bad, but the evil witch said "no."

OK, we should be back in a week or so. Don't forget us.

Mango Man! Oh yeah! (and PeeWee too)

WTF Wednesday - Another Near Death Experience

HELP! Blogger just forced me to use their exciting new doggie interface! WTF? Like I need that NOW! As you will see, The Mango is plenty stressed out already from my latest brush with death.


Last summer the Master put guard rails around my Observation Deck. Why? Because Momma was all like "Oh Master, Mango likes to sleep near the edge of the deck and I worry that he will take a tumble."

Whatever.

But you see that gap in the guard rail? That is for the stairs so that my large and only ever using those stairs at all self can go in and out of my yard as required.

Sometimes I like to sleep right in the gap. Go figure. I never thought twice about it. That is, until a few days ago WHEN MY STAIRS TRIED TO KILL ME!

That's right, because when I went to get up, suddenly my large and not always under my control bottom regions slid right off the deck!

HELP ME!

You see that little black snooter? Yeah, well idiot Pea was all "Hahaha! Mango! You are stuck!"

And I'm like "WTF you heartless little black rubberized devil. Go get help!"

Because getting up from a recumbent position is a process, OK?

A process involving collecting my considerable weight into my hiney and placing me rear quarters just so thereby facilitating a straight lift of my buttocks into a standing position (as demonstrated in the photo below - oops, lipstick, whatever).

Anxious to right myself, I scrabbled at the deck with my front portions whilst my rear slid ever closer to the edge of the step.

And what does the evil witch do? Help the Mango?

NO!

SHE TAKES PICTURES! WTF?

PUT THE FREAKIN FLASHY AWAY AND SAVE MEEEEEEE!

Next thing I know, Momma is behind me trying to lift up my bottoms all by herself and I think she must have had the super adrenalines going because she was pretty strong, but I was confused and the more she tried to lift the more I sat back against her and my bottom went down yet another step.

Not to mention, Momma was YELLING REALLY LOUD! And not screamy "oh help" but like totally scary monster bellowing voice. I don't know why. I think birds fell out of trees from her bloodcurdling exorcist voice.

Sure, Master was in the barn just a few feet away, but he doesn't hear too well and he was listening to his Temptations CD so good luck with that.

Eventually, I decided that turning around was the best plan and with Momma there to keep my rears on the stair, I was able to do a 360 and slide down to safety.

Here I am, a bit dizzy, but none worse for the wear. Phew.

And you know what? Just a few minutes later my buddy Jimmy and his boys came over to see ME and I forgot how scared I was. Look at them! They are Mango sized! I am positively diminutive next to them.

Hmmm.. that boy on the left could use a grooming of the fuzzy head.

Oh, I am supposed to tell you that momma certainly did NOT go inside and fetch the flashy to record my predicament since she carries it on her person at all times. Like that makes a difference.

Check out PeeWee "Oh why isn't anybody patting me?" As if!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Monday Movie Matinee - Taking my Medicine

Check out Miss Lily! She went to the hospital a little while ago with the bad cancer in her leggie. The doctor took her whole leg away because it was making her sicker and sicker, but look at her now! She is so happy and looking amazing in the special t-shirt her mama made for her.

You can visit her here.

Each and every day, twice, I have to take my Free No Barbie Doll to help keep the evil seizure monster away (and so far it is working which makes me very happy).

I'm not bothered. Well, at least in the morning when momma hides my medicine in cheese food (although I would prefer not to share my noms with PeeWee).

But at night she usually just puts like totally her entire arm in my mouth to give me my pill and that is, well, not as nice as cheese. Right?

I made this little movie to demonstrate and I am sure you will agree that the AM method is the way to go. Nom, nom, nom.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. If you get a chance, please visit little Molly. She is a new blogger and just had double knee surgery and I am sure she would like hearing from other doggies who have had surgery and also getting some good thoughts. Visit her here.

POTP for Hero the Sharpei (emergency surgery for bloat)

A few days ago, Hero, the Sharpei almost lost his life to bloat. Luckily, his family recognized the signs and rushed him to the hospital where he had emergency surgery. He seems to be recovering, but is still a bit fragile.

Bloat is a horrible, life threatening condition and quick action is required. The symptoms of bloat are restlessness, pacing, salivation, retching, unproductive attempts to vomit, enlarged and painful abdomen. If you even suspect bloat, get your dog to the emergency room. Better safe than sorry (yeah, Mango has been to the ER for suspected bloat which turned out just to be gas and after some mighty farting he felt better, but I don't regret taking a conservative approach).

Visit his post here to wish him well.

Mango Momma

P.S. Try to limit the risk of bloat by not letting your dogs engage in vigorous activity for at least an hour before and after eating. Large chested breeds are more prone to bloat (like both my boys). But be aware that even if you do everything right, it can still happen.

Mango Momma's MaxDog Book Review (with bonus adventure links)

MaxDog by Caryl Moll

Mango Momma review (short version)

Loved it! Buy it!

Go to Maxmom's blog here and look for the image of the book in the sidebar for instructions on how to buy it.

Mango Momma Review (long version)

I delayed buying this book. Why? Because I have come to know Maxmom through DWB and I was worried that I wouldn't like it. Then what? But I did finally send her an email, made my payment via PayPal and about a week later, my autographed copy arrived.

I'm not too proud to admit that I read the chapter entitled "Mango, Muiris and Maxdog" first. In fact I read it twice. And after I read the forward, I went back and read chapter 22 again. With that out of my system, back I went to chapter one.

I was worried during the first few chapters. "Oh no! Maxmom isn't like me at all!" Right up front she was bemoaning the idea of getting a "big" dog (Golden Retriever) and I was writhing with envy over the way her entire family participated in training and the fact that she was able to spend so much time with Max.

That didn't last long. As the story progressed, I related more and more with Maxmom and her journey getting to know Max. Maxmom is honest about her personal struggle with depression and loneliness. I doubt I am the only DWB mom who can identify with that.

I don't want to spoil the story. Let's just say that "life happened" to Maxmom, as it does to all of us, and sometimes she didn't handle it well. Sometimes my heart ached over her struggles and I wanted to make the story stop.

When Maxmom discovers the Internet, and DWBs in particular, I was totally there! She was telling my story! Her journey into blog land, finding all the other crazy DWB people, feeling part of something... "hey! that's me!"

I confess that when Max was sick, I found continued reading of the blog almost unbearable. I even stopped commenting. "How many times can I say 'I'm thinking of you?' " I regret that now. I didn't really understand the power of the DWB community and how important each and every comment is when our beloved pets are ill. Not two months after Max made his final journey, Mango had his first seizure and I learned for myself how much comfort there is in even the briefest comment.

At the end of the day, I think that is what this book is about. It's about how life can really be difficult for all of us and how the Internet has allowed us to connect with each other from around the world to share the good times and the bad with like minded people.

Some readers will recall Mango's big adventure in South Africa. When I contacted Maxmom to ask if Mango and his pals could go and visit Maxdog the only thing I was thinking was "Hey, Maxdog looks pretty cool and wouldn't it be fun to do an adventure with Mango and his pals in an exotic location like South Africa?"

It wasn't until Maxmom sent me a copy of chapter 22 to proof read that it dawned on me that she had been worried about how I might depict her country (which has certainly had its share of turmoil and controversy). But that's emblematic of the DWB circle for me. I know that I don't share political or religious views with lots of my Internet friends. I know that I have different values and ethics than some of them. But we share a love and devotion to our pets that overrides those differences.

In honor of Maxmom, Maxdog, and all of you out there in blogland, I am presenting an "Adventure in South Africa" retrospective. This adventure was a collaborative effort with the humans behind Asta, Petey, Lacie, and Joe Stains (may he rest in peace) blogs. It took us over a month to get it all together and good to go (during which I think we all went a little mental exchanging photoshop images and trying to figure out what the other was thinking).

Throughout, Maxmom dutifully provided photos for the backgrounds "oh, can you send us a picture of your living room, your yard, the park, the front gate, a lion?"

Of course there is plenty of suspense, romance, action, and, obviously, farting. Not to mention what remains one of the most disturbing fashion accessories ever, the Mango Purse.

Below are links to each installment.

Announcing my Big Adventure

Preparing for the Trip

Arrival in South Africa

South Africa - the first night

The Search for Joey

The Search Continues

Rescue!

Conclusion

If you want to get your own copy of Maxdog, please go to Maxmom's blog here and look for the contact info in her sidebar.

Mango Momma! Oh yeah!

(almost) Wordless Wednesday - As seen on walkies

What do you mean "leave it?"

WTF Wednesday - Special Monday Edition

URGENT! Faux Mango products from Mexico!

That's right! Alert reader (and fellow WTF-uped blogger), Miss Puddles sent me an alarming discovery.

Behold the offending bag.

I'm not certain that photo will bigify because, well, mom's an IDIOT! But I will tell you that one of the "flavors" is "Mango Passion Fruit Squeeze!"

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Oh my Mango-ness!

Lookit here. These are the actual consumable goods. I think that totally looks like something that might be part of me. Yuh, for sure, because I have been photocopied lots of times, you know and I just KNOW that the sly vet must have seen these things inside of me.

Do you think sweet Lorenza is actually part of the illicit Mango products trafficking? After all, she does live in Mexico. Uh oh. Maybe she is hiding Mango products under the ruffles of those fancy dresses she wears.

I wanted momma to post a photo of my large and handsome self to let you know I am still OK even though I am apparently depleted of some of my precious bodily juices, but she was all "Oh, Mango, I don't have any recent photos that your friends haven't already seen."

Um, hello? Got enough negatives in that sentence?

So here is one of just my foot that she had laying around in the flashy.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Show us your Fur!

Every time I try to run this post I hear something bad about one of my pals. After hearing about Tsar's passing yesterday I was scared to put this post up again, but momma convinced me to try. And to get rid of all the bad mojo this post has, I am going to start by giving you some good news!

My little friend, Ernie, is recovering well from his recent surgery.

Dave is up and around again after having problems with his back.

And Miss Sunshade, Super Dale, is slowly, but surely regaining her strength.

And now, here's my post at last!

In the springtime, momma helps me to donate my furs to the busy birdies who are building nests. I'm not bothered. I am happy to help and that furminator feels most stimulating.

Admittedly, most of my furs I lay down on the floor of the estate interior. It makes the place smell good and creates soft tumbleweeds against the walls that provides extra padding should I take a tumble.

But I am a modest shedder for my size. Certainly nothing like the Pea who manages to leave enough of himself rolling and tumbling about to knit a sweater.

It makes momma most grouchy and the other day, she collected the deposits that the suck machine pulled. She said, "Dammit! This is only from one week and I didn't even go under the furniture. I am going to have to vacuum more often which means less time for YOU!"

Friends, readers, and fellow shedding monsters, I challenge you to show us your furs. How often does your human run the suck machine around the house? Does it make you mental fits like Pea?

Or do you lay there trying to make it go away like me?

And how much of you actually is on the floors and carpets? The Mango wants to know!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Farewell to Tsar, the Wonderful Cat Dog

Tsar, that very special and unique doggie made his final journey this week.

The Mango is filled with sadness as is Tsar's wonderful and relentlessly huge pack of water dog pals.

Some of you might remember Tsar from his Mango Minster 2010 surprise first placement in the cat dog category.

We all have our quirks, but that Tsar stood out for his cross over manners which earned him the label of cat dog.

Not easy to stand out from the crowd when you live with 87 fuzzy water dogs, but Tsar did it and he did it with style. His singing was music to the ears of his family.

He was quite adventurous, willing to try out the latest fashion trend.

But above all, he always had a smile and a good word for everybody.

Run free, my friend.

You can visit his family here.

WTF Wednesday - A Proposition of Sorts

Don't you like this version of my header photo better? Hehehe.

Momma received a most curious email at the work place. It seems to be a proposition of some kind (I X'd out the links lest you are tempted to click on them).

Rickytiscali Zdrastvui!

My Nane Is Elena.

I Live In Russka.

My Emqil XXXXXXXXXX

We Are Met On Dating Site. Decided To Write To You ...

I'll Tell You A Little About ourself.

I Am 40 Years Olf, Working Az Teacher Im econdary School.

In My Spare Time I Like To Walk In The Park.

Reax Books. ÂÂÂÂwatching Television Anc Mors.

I Wqnt Ti Meer Serious. £responsible, Kind Man.

If You Are Interested. ÂÂwrife To Me At Ths Email Address XXXXXXXX Maybe We Can Get To Know Each Othrr Better.

And Then Who Knows Wyat Wilp Happen.

I Wjll Wait Frok You The Letter.

In Any Case. Good Luck To You.

I will note that I think Frok You is kind of insulting, but that's just me.

And WTF are Anc Mors?

Somebody give this person a few more vowels! Sheesh!

Good luck? Good luck to YOU with your weird writing. You think anybody is going to be fooled by that? As if!

Yuh, and you know what else? This wasn't just sent to momma, but to some big old group email address. Like totally, lady, you think anybody is wanting to reply to you when they know you are trolling half the company all throwing yourself at the defenseless uber geeks like a common huzzy?

HEY! Did my fonts get all weird from that stupid email? Spooky. Damn HTML's get ya every time.

Oh look! Here's another photo of me and idiot Pea under the plum tree. I got kind of tired with all that posing and had to take a load off.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Momma reported this immediately to the spam police at the work place. If your human ever gets a weird-o email at work, remind them NOT to open it or click on any links and to report it to their IT department right away.

Meteorological Monday

I distinctly heard Harvey Leonard say "snow showers possible for interior regions."

Dexter done!

POTP Needed for Abby's Brother, Jed

Many Readers know my friend, Abby, from her role as Guardian of Ethics for Mango Minster.

Abby's brother, Jed, has very bad sickies and could sure use the POTP.

Now they don't have a blog, but you know they will read your comments here and it will help a ton.

Jed was too sick to write me himself, but his momma sent me this email;

We got some unsettling news on Friday about Jed. Even though we don't have a blog, Jed sure could use some POTP right now. He's been having a string of health problems for some time, and we just got a diagnosis that ties them all together. Jed has an autoimmune disease that is attacking different parts of his body. Right now, the biggest problems are acute IBD [inflamed intestines, which keeps him from being able to extract all the nutrition from his food - and makes him feel pretty bad] and eosinophalic masticatory muscle myositis, which is causing his head and jaw muscles to atrophy. While we work to figure out the best combination of medications, holistic supplements and diet to hopefully slow down the progress of this disease, we could use all the help we can get. We've seen the POTP at work to help others, and we figure it might help Jed. Would you please use your blog to ask for the POTP for Jed?

Get well, buddy! The Mango is sending Relentlessly Huge vibes and you know Pea and Momma are there for you too.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. I took down my already posted post (again) to give you this important news. I am thinking that post is cursed because every time I publish it something bad happens with one of my pals.

WAKE UP!

I prefer to wake up slowly. Ideally by snuggling for about 87 minutes. I am particularly fond of Momma's sleepy robe. It is so soft and cuddly.

Other dogs are apparently cracker mental fits even when not fully conscious.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

POTP for Sunshade and Dozer

I asked momma to help me take down the post that I had already published today so that I could do a new one about two friends who really need the POTP.

Miss Sunshade, the Super Dale, had to go to the hospital last night. She had a high fever and was not herself at all and did not want to get up or play or anything. Her mom is so worried because Sunshade is a very special girl and she had to be left alone in the hospital overnight.

Sunshade recently had a surgery and even though she also ate some bully sticks, her mom is thinking that the problem is the surgery and not the bully sticks (which seem to have made a quick exit if you know what I mean).

Please visit Sunshade here.

Dozer, the nutty corgi dog, hurt his neck something awful the other day. Poor little dude is on some high powered drugs and his mom is worried about him. He's had some rough times this past year. Like totally he had rocks in his pee pee bag that had to be removed through the surgeries and now this! Get better, buddy.

You can visit him here.

WTF Wednesday - Mango Extract

Me: Momma, I saw something called "Mango Extract" on the internets. Can you explain that?

Evil Witch: Well, Mango, I think it is from Mango fruit that grows on Mango trees.

Me: There is on such thing.

Evil Witch: Besides, it says on the bottle it is from Africa and you don't live in Africa.

Me: I went there once. Remember?

Evil Witch: Yes, I remember. So what do you think it is in those bottles?

Me: I think that somebody is stealing my precious bodily fluids and selling them.

Evil Witch: Which bodily fluids might they be?

Me: Any number of things. The Mango excretes many substances of varying viscosity such as pee, poop, slobbers, ear goobers, and sometimes even the hurka hurka.

Evil Witch: Hmmmm.....

Me: Or maybe it's my blood that the vampire vet takes sometimes. There is a big market out there for bits of The Mango.

Evil Witch: You know, Mango, there is another bodily fluid that comes out of you.

Me: Do tell.

Evil Witch: Your semen.

Me: Sea men? Did you say Mango Sea men? WTF? I do not have sailors inside of me.

Evil Witch: No, not sea men. Semen. Like what comes out of you sometimes when you have an exciting dream during your meditations.

Me: You mean like when I had that nautical nightmare and I woke up and thought I had peed out of terror?

Evil Witch: Yes, like that. You weren't afraid, you were excited.

Me: I was afraid.

Evil Witch: Let's try this. You know how sometimes we go to the vet and some of the lady dogs smell really good and make you howl and do your happy dance?

Me: Hot bitches.

Evil Witch: Exactly. There are some dogs like your brother Floyd who actually do the happy dance with those, um, heated up gals.

Ch. Eastwinds Comfortably Numb "Floyd"

Me: Why are you showing a picture of my mastiff brother? I am better looking than him.

Evil Witch: Yes you are.

Me: I want to do the happy dance.

Evil Witch: You can't. We've been through that. You were a big dope in the show ring.

Me: No I wasn't. I just didn't want some strange dude feeling my Mango-ness. Can you believe Floyd named his son Mongo? I think he was disrespecting me.

Evil Witch: Whatever. Listen. When a dog like Floyd does the happy dance with a lady dog she gets puppies in her belly. You've seen some lady dogs with puppies at the vet.

Me: That's preposterous. There aren't puppies in there. Those gals are just FAT! Like this moo cow! Hello? Jenny Craig emergency! Some doggie needs an intervention.

Evil Witch: She is not fat. She is full of puppies.

Me: I'll play along. "Puppies" is code for "fat." So I'm guessing next you'll say you have puppies in your ass and that's why you keep buying bigger pants.

Evil Witch: You're getting off topic.

Me: The Mango doesn't have any "puppies" in his ass thanks to the starvation diet I am on. Still doesn't explain why you think there are sailors inside of me and how they get out.

Evil Witch: Sometimes they are extracted manually.

Me: See? That's why my brother Floyd is an idiot. He needs a manual to know how to woo the bitches.

Evil Witch: Extracted manually by the vet. Look, I'll show you a movie, OK? But tell your friends that some of them might not want to watch. I will even put it in red letters. The following movie might not be suitable for all viewers, but watch it here if you want.

Me: WTF was THAT?

I feel dizzy.

Do you think I could get an appointment with that vet?

Evil Witch: After the semen is collected it is frozen and used later for artificial insemination.

Me: Are you on crack or something? What does freezing sailors and sending them to this Art Official to use for nefarious purposes in a place called Sum Nation have to do with Mango extracts?

Evil Witch: Sigh. You're right. I made it up.

Me: Thought so.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Happy Monday by Dexter

We are kind of sad around here because two of our doggie pals succumbed to the evil seizure monster in the past week (our blog buddy, Fred, and Rusty the boxer dog who lived with one of momma's work friends).

It makes me worry about Mango. Because as much as I tease him....

Look at that face! Hello? Anybody home?

I'm kind of used to having him around and I don't like knowing that the seizure monster could come back and hurt him.

But nothing to cheer one up like a nice dip in the pool. Momma says I am mental fits for wanting to dive in when there are chunks of ice floating around. I say, it's never too cold for a swim. Just watch me. Here or below.

Dexter done!

R.I.P. My Wonderful Friend Fred

Friends, it is with a heavy heart that the Mango shares that the evil seizure monster bested my buddy, Fred, and he made his final journey last night.

Fred, you put up a good fight, you will be missed terribly.

You can visit his family here.