Thursday, September 27, 2012

Blog Retirement

Friends and loyal readers,
I had originally planned on responding to every comment personally, but the outpouring of good thoughts and sympathy has been so overwhelming that I am compelled to just give you all a Relentlessly Huge thank you. Your words mean so much to me.

Mango was my muse, no doubt. And while I choose my prose carefully, in my head, I am usually saying "WTF?" "Seriously?" "Whatever!"

I am retiring this blog. The magic of Mango's Great Adventures won't come back. Mango was one of a kind, no doubt about it, and all it ever took to put a smile on my face was just to look at him being himself.

Should I return to blogging, it will be on a new blog, a different blog, but that, if it happens, will wait for me to clear my head and focus on little Pea and what sort of blog would be right for him. Pea is emerging as a new doggie now that he is not living under the shadow of his brother who was, let's face it, always kind of a bully towards the stoic little chap.

I'm glad that I had this photo taken of me with my Bubba recently (complete with evil witch red devil eyes).

Mango was a big, spoiled, cry baby momma's dog all the way, of that you can be certain. 
I wouldn't have had it any other way.

And now just a few brief memories.

Mango always waited on the deck for me to come home. His howls began as soon as my car pulled into the driveway "Hurry, momma!"

Ah, the joy of being Mango. It just feels so good!

And my all time favorite photo of Mango with PeeWee. Super smack down bitey face! Oh yeah!

Mango Momma

P.S. An extra big "thank you" to Alasandra, Socks, Scylla & Fenris for our header photo.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Mango Has Crossed Over the Rainbow Bridge

Mango Relentlessly Huge
May 4th 2005 - September 26, 2012

A little over an hour ago, I helped Mango to make his final journey.
Monday night he enjoyed a very bouncy and fun filled playtime with Dexter.
1 AM Tuesday morning, he was rushed to the ER in distress, but seemed to rally and came back home.
Tuesday he was not himself, but did enjoy some time in the sun and guarding the estate.
Tuesday night, his distress returned and he was once again at the ER.

Examination revealed a perforation in his intestines, a belly full of contaminated fluid, and blood that was growing weary of fighting infection.

His distress was great and the prognosis of a good outcome from surgery to repair his intestines and clean out infection was grim. I stroked his velvety face and whispered my love as he quietly departed this life.

His body has been donated to the Tufts School of Veterinary Medicine. His spirit is strong in my heart.

Mango Momma

Monday, September 24, 2012

The Lawless Lab

Friends, there has been an alarming proliferation of signs such as these in our little community. Signs placed where yours truly had heretofore enjoyed fun filled walks across expansive green ways.

No doubt, my fun has been spoiled by insane off leash cracker dogs and owners who do not pick up their doggie's business. But why must I suffer?

No Dogs Allowed? We'll see about that!

Why indeed? Because on this particular day, momma caught my sense of living on the edge, seizing the day, and all that nonsense and we breached the forcefield of that sign with only a brief quickening of our hearts lest we be caught out and thrown into the slammer.

Giddy with my new found sense of adventure, I felt compelled to leave a calling card in case some other thrill seeking pup should happen by.

Dexter was here!

And once that line has been crossed, my acts of civil disobedience knew no bounds. "What," I wondered, "is beyond these signs that is so precious?"

Hurry up or they will think we've parked here.

Why, it is the gigantic aqueduct which runs the relentlessly huge pipe bringing water from out west all the way into Boston! 

Let's keep going! I think this leads to Agatha and Archie's house.

Oh! And where am I now?

Well, if momma knew the first thing about camera exposure you would have seen behind me this impressive estate.

An estate not one mile from our modest acre. An estate that sports 37 magnificent acres and a manor house to rival Downton Abby. And it is for sale!

I suggested we take a look around. After all, Master is always on the market for a new project house, right?

But this sign caused momma to revert back to her law abiding ways. "Oh, Dexter," she exclaimed, "it is one thing to walk about on public land and feel that one has some entitlement having paid taxes, but it is really bad form to stroll on to private property."

Come on, Momma, live a little!

Well, we shall see. I suspect that the more I can encourage her to seek adventure, the closer she will get to allowing me to tour what I believe would make an appropriate estate for my labraself.

And what of my loyal readers? Tell me, do you ever break the rules when out and about?

Dexter done!

Friday, September 21, 2012

POTP for Samba

Friends and dear readers, we are interrupting our blogging break to ask for POTP for little Samba. 
She has been very ill for some time and is now declining.
You can visit her here.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Not Around so Much

Friends and loyal readers, the Mango has to tell you that we are not going to be around in blogland too much for a little while.

Why? Well, momma is just feeling a bit overwhelmed by all her human stuff lately. Nothing bad, seriously, but she says the days are "getting away from her." 

Check it out, Pea, momma is doing her "stuff" again. 

We have so many dear friends and boy do I love reading all your blogs, but it seems like our google reader breaches the stress zone really super fast and then I can't decide which ones to read and momma is always doing her math stuff like "Oh Mango, there are over 300 posts to read and even if we can read one per minute it will take us five hours to get through them all and there is so much for us to do!"

In a way, I suppose, she is right, we DO have stuff to do, like eat noms.

Why is my nommy so small?

Why is MY nommy so small?

Plus Pea has been having "issues" with his eyeball. Look at this photo! He got green gunk put in his eye and it totally came out his snooter. Hehehe.

See it? See the little green around his labrahonker?

This is no fun.

So we're going to kind of just spot check blogger. Like cruise through now and then but that's it until momma can get her groove back.

In the meantime, here is a nicey nice photo which you might think is the same as our header photo, but it totally isn't because as you can see I am looking at idiot Pea in this photo and in the header I am looking at the flashy (of course Pea apparently is just frozen in his suck up camera pose in both pictures).

Got it? So if anything super important happens, please let the Mango know, OK?

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

P.S. Momma says not to worry about stupid PeeWee and his eyeball. It isn't going to pop out of his head or anything, but it is causing him itchies or something so he kind of rubbed the fur off and then he got like the yeasties from hell in his ear and everything, so he has to go to the vet again on Saturday, but he feels fine and is as annoying as ever.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Momma and Idiot Pea are Ganging Up on Me (with video proof)

I know this photo is blurry, but as you can see, the Mango was compelled to act with lightening speed in order to keep that pesky labradoink away from MY stick.

Scram, you little black devil!

How can I enjoy my stick when I have to stay on my toes to ward off thieves? 

Keep away! I'm watching you.

Even Momma wanted to spoil my fun times. Watch this movie wherein which she grabs the stick right out of my jaws of doom! What the heck? Is she going to chewie it? Hardly.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Dexter the Wonder Dog - On the Topic of Slobber

Sometimes I wonder if the relentless slobbers which flow freely and continuously from the sloppy jowls of Mango have turned our estate into a toxic wasteland.

Yours truly often goes most of the day with nary a sip of water due to my aversion to consuming said slobbers even in trace amounts.

Once a stuffie has spent any amount of time with jaws of doom....

Even repeated journeys through the washing machine cannot restore it to its original luster.

Momma is quite cavalier regarding the splatters of miasmic goo that are constantly dropped onto my labrafurs. One endeavors to maintain a brave facade.

Please, momma, can you remove that vile blob from my labrabottom?

But surly she could show mercy and relieve me of my burdens before they burn through my precious labraskull causing who knows what sorts of rot that will no doubt eventually consume my grey matter and render it as mushy as that of the simple minded creature himself.

Get it off me! I'm begging you.

Dexter done!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Walkie Wardrobe Horrors

The Mango has long since given up convincing the DOH that a sports bra just doesn't cut it for a manly dude such as myself when out and about.

But of late, she has added to my misery by forcing me to wear an orange glow in the dark clown collar!

Do you see it? 

Seriously? You want me to walkie looking like a total dork?

Momma says "Oh, Mango, it is just to make you more visible. Our street is so very busy and narrow."

And I'm like "WTF, lady? I'm as big as a couch! You think anybody is going to miss seeing me?"

Objects are larger than they appear.

It gets worse.

Because next thing you know she is typing away on the computer and she looks down and shrieks out "Oh Mango! I am getting old lady hands!"

I was kind of nonplussed (yeah, I use that word, who doesn't) by that little outburst. I mean, so what else is new, right? She is about 87,000 years old. 

But before I know it, a little package arrives in the mail and now when we walkie she is wearing these things. A regular little Scarlett O'Hara, right? 

She says they are called Coolibar (which sounds like a nommy to me) and are made out of sun block material. Because if I have heard it once, I've heard it a gazillion times, "Mango, mark my words, some day 'healthy tan' will be considered an oxymoron."

Sounds to me like an excuse to maintain the uber geek undead zombie pallor on all parts of her person.

To her credit, while a lot of ladies her age kind of look like this....

Momma's eerily white skin is still soft to the touch.

And what of the headgear that is sported in attempts to ward off sun, cold, and head biting insects?

The anti biting fly flap hat.

The gnat hat...

And the Elmer Fudd hat...

Which leads brings us to the primary topic of the day....

Yes, an actual article of clothing, called, are you ready.... a FACEKINI!

Momma's foolish work place boss alerted her to this new beach wear intended to prevent any actual exposure to the sun and momma was, well, let's just say.... intrigued.

The idea of trying to maintain any shred of dignity whilst accompanied by some dorky old bat looking like a cross between a serial killer and a giant kong is almost too much to bear.

To cleanse your viewing pallet, here's a nicey nice picture of me with momma wherein which she looks only moderately dorky - note evil plaid pants (I, of course, look handsome as every).

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Three Unrelated Items (and POTP request for Moose)

Item #1

I finally convinced idiot momma to put her stupid non-doggie book reviews on a different blog, thank you very much.

Wouldn't you know that she actually posted a real live doggie book review on it? Well, that, along with a bunch of other uninteresting volumes which she has wasted a lot of what could have been Mango funballs time reading of which wherein and whatever.

You can visit it here.

Item #2

Alert reader, Fudge, has brought to my attentions a most important sculpture which has been crafted into the mountainous regions of South Dakota. To whit, the following:

Ah, a life size impression of fully sized doggies such as myself, so much more worth the trip than that silly Crazy Horse doo hicky thing.

Item #3

Will somebody, please, show mercy, and STOP with all the Mango recalls that have been going on? 

The Mango is just one dog, after all, and these persistent recalls (some of which I believe might actually include hot dogs) are near to making my mentals explode!

Finally, my buddy Moose, could use some POTP.

He hasn't written anything on his bloggy but I am sure he will read any kind comments you leave. Here is what he wrote on his facebook.

Ok, it seems I might have an infection from fluid in my lungs. This makes it more likely that I have laryngeal paralysis which was suspected a few months ago. Aside from that the radiologist thought my heart was too big, even for my moose-sized self so after I get rid of my infection I prolly gotta get a super expensive picture of my heart from a special doc. So,it seems that every part of me is an old man now but prolly not gonna die tomorrow or the next day.

Feel better, little black labradoink.

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

I Put My Paw Down

Momma: Mango, is it OK if I borrow your blog today to write a book review?

Me: That depends, what book is it?

Momma: It is called His Family by Ernest Poole.

Me: Never heard of it. Are there doggies in it?

Momma: Oh yes, see? Right here on page 284 "The herd passed on and George followed behind, his collie dog leaping and barking beside him."

Me: And?

Momma: And what?

Me: And like, duh, what else? Was it a boy dog or a girl dog? What was the doggie's name? What did it eat for supper? Did the doggie know any cool tricks?

Momma: Well, um, that is the only doggie part of the book.

Me: Seriously? You want me to let you use MY blog to write about a dumb old book that has the word "collie" in it? Are you for real?

Momma: Oh Mango, it did win the Pulitzer prize and it is a wonderful story about how life has a way of sneaking up on you and the best laid plans can go awry and I think that dog mommas out there who are, you know, middle aged, would relate to it and...

Me: Hold it right there. I don't give a flying fig about going to a rye in the middle ages and I don't care if it won the Olympic Gold medal. If there aren't any doggies in it, then no dice. Go write your own blog. You can call it "Mango Momma's Stupid Book Review Blog About Books That Nobody Cares About Because THEY DON'T HAVE DOGGIES IN THEM!"

Momma: No need to shout. Maybe you're right. I could write my own blog, but I don't think I would use "Mango Momma" in the title.

Me: Why not? It's your name, isn't it?

Momma: Yes, but people who google "Mango Momma" are likely looking for something like this...

Me: WTF is THAT? You are making soaps from your jelly in your belly? Maybe if you increased production you wouldn't need to keep buying bigger pants. 

Momma: Um, perhaps... but, you know, I'm not sure that anybody would read a non-doggie book review blog.

Me: And thus the penny drops.

Momma: Sigh, maybe you're right. After all, this is YOUR blog - and PeeWee's too of course.

Me: Word that, lady. Go busy yourself whilst I enjoy a REAL book.

Now THIS is great literature!

Mango Man! Oh yeah!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

POTP for Jed in Merryland

I think a lot of you, dear readers, know Jed and Abby in Merryland from all the wonderful comments that they leave on our collective doggie blogs.

Jed and Abby don't have their own bloggy and I need to alert you to Jed's health issues, OK?
You just leave comments on this post and I know they will read them.

Here is what Jed's momma wrote:

Jed has been holding steady, although today he's having a flare-up of his IBS.  So far, his meds, diet & the POTP have kept the immune disorder from attacking his major organs.  He'll never get better;  the object now is to prevent or at least slow further decline.  He has a separate OCD issue which makes him lick bad sores on his legs;  some have required surgery to repair.  Right now, both of his rear legs are bandaged so he sorta looks like a racehorse.  

Guess the short version is that Jed is mostly holding his own and is still enjoying eating, playing with Abby, chasing birds and chewing on his bones and himself.

Plus their momma could use some POTP herself as she has some very bad owies in her neck and shoulder and hands and it is making it ever so hard for her to type (Abby has been trying to comment but you know how difficult the keyboard can be without thumbs).